Tag Archives: faith

memories

Graduation Day

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A blessing that will be remembered for many years to come.  Celebrated with our closest friends, church family and a few of our immediate family members.

I remember our sons first day of school and I also remember his first day of homeschooling.  We both were excited at the new adventure, yet we were also a bit nervous over what the years would bring.  It wasn’t always easy as I not only prepared lesson plans for one class, but all of them.  At times I felt like I had lived under a rock over my 40+ years.  We learned together in most subjects and I wondered if I was doing a good job.   There was always worry….  There were a few years that we put almost 100 miles a week on the car driving from sports activities, volunteering opportunities,  to music lessons.   I used to tell my husband that being a stay at home mom is not easy and I will not know how well I’ve done my job until our children turned 18 and I see the end result of who they become.  After all, there is no evaluation at the end of each year, there is no paycheck handed to you and there are no promotions.

At this point, I weep with joy over the end of our adventure as I see a once little boy become a young man.  He is first and foremost a Godly individual who wants to serve the Lord in all he does.  He is polite, happy, easy going (most of the time) and he is incredibly smart.  He graduated last weekend with a near 4. GPA, and he is also at a sophomore level in college.   Well, I can praise God for leading us through this part of our journey between mother and son and thank Him for His glory that saw us through the difficulties.  We could only have done it with the power of prayer and strength from Him whom we trust.

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A selfie with mom!

 

 

Lymes

Trembling and Falling Down Before Him

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Luke 8:40-48

40 Now when Jesus returned, the crowd welcomed him, for they were all waiting for him. 41 And there came a man named Jairus, who was a ruler of the synagogue. And falling at Jesus’ feet, he implored him to come to his house, 42 for he had an only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she was dying. As Jesus went, the people pressed around him. 43 And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone. 44 She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased. 45 And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!” 46 But Jesus said, “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.” 47 And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. 48 And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

Seeking out physicians to find the cure.  I can relate.  Falling down before him.  I can relate.  Healing by the touch of the Lord Jesus Christ.  I can relate.  To have faith and go in peace.  I can relate.

Psalm 91:1-6

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” 3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. 4 He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. 5 You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

Dwelling in the shelter of the Lord.  I can relate.  Crying out “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”  I can relate.  Finding refuge under his wings.  I can relate.  Not fearing the terror of the night nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.  I can relate.

Through the grace of the Lord I will be healed.  Through the strength of he who carries me, I rest in peace.  Through the words of truth, I find wisdom.  Through prayers of thanksgiving I find hope.

Friends, I pray that you find healing today and in those yet to come.  I pray that you find peace in the Lord and in knowing that through Him all things are possible.

Have a great week!

 

memories

Reflection of a Week Passed

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Once again, I pulled myself out of the mire and squirmed in pain through church so that I would be touched by the Lords mercy.  To be reminded that He is almighty, strong, worthy, righteous and Holy.  Through His sovereignty, he guides me when I need Him the most.  The muzzle of His hand covers my mouth in times of persecution so that through quiet reflection He will be glorified and praised.

Psalm 119: 41-48 (ESV)

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41 Let your steadfast love come to me, O Lord,
    your salvation according to your promise;
42 then shall I have an answer for him who taunts me,
    for I trust in your word.
43 And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth,
    for my hope is in your rules.
44 I will keep your law continually,
    forever and ever,
45 and I shall walk in a wide place,
    for I have sought your precepts.
46 I will also speak of your testimonies before kings
    and shall not be put to shame,
47 for I find my delight in your commandments,
    which I love.
48 I will lift up my hands toward your commandments, which I love,
    and I will meditate on your statutes.


Lymes, memories

Strength in the Lord, not the hair…

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Last week I mustered up the strength to go out and get my hair done.  We had a big weekend coming up with the kids between their Regional Finals and their Band Debut.  We were supposed to be out of town the entire weekend.  Now, with my health as it is, I have been avoiding crowds and avoiding all stress and activity.  Not just because I am unable to do very much as I am quite tired and have no strength, yet also because after this last acquired virus which put me and my family into a tail spin I decided getting sick with anything further just wasn’t something I needed nor wanted.  This weekend however, was going to be unavoidable.

On the Monday before the event I began asking questions about the Band Debut and ended up in charge of the Silent Auction and Raffle.  You may be asking yourself how I managed to do that.  Honestly, I’m not sure.  I’m sure the word “volunteer” came in to play at some point, yet I’m not exactly sure what words came out of my mouth that gave anyone the impression I was the “go to” girl for the job.  Not because I’m not capable of pointing out I could do it, I just don’t remember exactly what I said.  A memory issue I blame on my friends who also dwell in this body.  Well, I am organized enough in auctions as I have done enough of them, so it came together nicely and I wasn’t really stressed during the week leading up to the event.  That is, until I looked in the mirror and realized that I looked like death warmed over.  So, the hair appointment was made in hopes of making me look human again.

As I plopped into the chair awaiting the hairdresser to velcro the smock around my neck, I looked in the mirror and wondered if there was enough color to change the skunk look I had going on and if just a trim was going to be enough.  The hairdresser then asked the dreaded question of “So… how much are we going to cut off today”?  I have been growing out my hair for the last few years and the only cutting I’ve had done has been through a trim.   I could see the glean in her eye and the hope she had that I just may adopt a “Go ahead and cut it all off” attitude.  As I looked in the mirror at what I looked like, I asked her to just color it and to please get me a few books to ponder her question.

After looking through about 4 books with the hairdresser I asked her if she had many clients in their mid 40’s who had hair as long as mine.  She informed me that I was the only one.

I don’t usually cave in to pressure, yet this time I guess I was feeling a bit vulnerable and ended up allowing her to measure different lengths of cut.  I thought 6 inches was too much and she thought 4 was too little, so we decided on cutting 5 inches off.   I noticed as she cut that she had that cheshire cat grin on her face.  I asked her if she was happy to be cutting it and she admitted she’d waiting a year for my approval.  As I looked in the mirror at her work I acknowledged she was doing a great job and then I looked at the floor.  When I looked back up I asked her if any of her clients my age had ever sobbed in her chair over the loss of their locks.  She laughed and told me I would be the first and to go ahead.  Hmmmm…..

Let me just say, I did ponder it.  In the end I did not and was able to keep my composure.  I did however, begin thanking the Lord.  Thanking Him that He did NOT give me my strength in this life through my hair like he had Samson.  I kept thinking about the strength He has given me to get through much adversity.  So as the 5 inches of hair growth hit the floor, I thanked God first and then I thanked the hairdresser.  She did a great job, I walked out looking human and I was able to NOT embarrass my children at their weekend events.   Once again, the Lord granted grace to stay awake when I was most exhausted and He offered kindness through others who brought me chairs to sit in.  He also gave my husband patience as he drove back and forth from the hotel and the Regional Finals trying to get us a room so I could sleep and rest before the “Big Evening”.  After 1 week of looking in the mirror at the new hairdo, I still miss the length, yet I look like there is a glimpse of life and that alone makes all the drama worth while.

Where does your strength come from?

Mine comes from the Lord!  He gives me strength when my flesh is weak, and encourages me when there is despair.  In Him I find peace, hope and love.  Not just any peace, not just any hope and not just any love.  In Him there is glorifying peace, eternal hope and agape Love.

Psalm 28:7

7 The Lord is my strength and my shield;  in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;  my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Isaiah 40:29

29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.

 

 

Lymes

Blooms of Spring Healing

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I have been asked many times over the last several months how I have been able to handle sitting in our house day after day waiting to feel normal.  People have admitted that they would have gone nuts or psychotic by now.   My response has been consistent in that I can only trust that the Lord has given me the strength, encouragement and ability to get through.  Oh, I’m not saying that it’s been a picnic.  There have been moments of self absorbed awareness that this could be my new life and I have complained in tears that I just want to feel good and have my life back.   The moments of self loathing are short lived and it never fails that a friend calls or stops by to check in and through laughter my emotional breakdown subsides and I am reminded that I’ve wasted healing energy feeling sorry for myself.

As spring comes upon us here in the midwest and the snow melts, I look up at the trees seeing what seems to be a sight of destruction in their limbs.  Unsightly bare twigs attached to trunks that almost look to be nimble and weak.  Even though they seem to be unhealthy and unstable in appearance, I know that as the ground thaws and the water begins to seep into their roots they will come alive with running sap and nourishment that will allow the limbs to bud with new blooms of leaves and flowers.  The birds will cradle their nests between the branches, laying their eggs and feeding their chicks.  The squirrels will  jump from branch to branch chasing one another in play.  The blooming of the leaves will shade certain areas of the yard, offering protection for spring plants that can only thrive in the shaded warmth of summer.  The once unsightly sign of cold winter days will disappear and the beauty of spring and summer colors will cover the landscape reminding me of God’s healing power.

This is the picture I have in my mind.  The picture I have hope in when I feel despair and this is how I see myself in the days yet to come.  I think of my illness as a season that will fade away into another season of life.  A season that will bloom with healing.  My body frail like the tree in fall and winter, waiting to bloom again with vibrance and agility in spring and summer. Rooted in the Spirit, Fed by the Word and thriving through the Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Jeremiah 17:7,8

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.  He is like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

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Jeremiah 17:14

“Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise. ”

 

Lymes

Blind Faith

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How does one describe Faith…

For Christians, it’s something that is known, yet unknown.  Something that comes naturally and grows within.  In earlier times of history, faith was known through sight, today, it’s known through trust and through a contentment and calm that overwhelms the  heart, mind and soul.  A peace that is only understood by others that are like minded.

A few years ago life had pulled some unexpected punches our way and I found myself waking up each morning to beautiful sunrises in prayer, asking God for some sort of sign that would show me His path.  I asked for that which our Godly brothers and sisters of old had once observed.   We happened to be in a place where we could forget our “tales of woe”, even if for only a moment and try to focus on what was really important, when the name of a boat caught my eye.  This boat was pulled into the spot at the marina differently than the other boats.  It’s back was facing us and it was named Blind Faith.  At that moment, I knew overwhelmingly that our Heavenly Father was watching over our family.  He was going to pull us through all that we were enduring.  Many of our friends and family were dissatisfied and skeptical with choices that had to be made, yet for us, God’s will was securely upon our hearts and we followed His leading.  Many blessings have come from our following Him.  Should we have followed the advice of family or friends, we cannot at this time believe that it would have turned out better or that the blessings would have been as abundant.  God knew we would trust Him, with His sovereign Grace, He gave us a path to follow and a journey to which we are grateful.

As I write this, my health has been of even greater concern as we found some other issues that need addressing.  I have had many moments of feeling weary this past week.  As I pondered this Lords day, alone in my home while the family was away, I nearly stayed in bed and avoided worship.  However, my mind wandered to prayer and strength was grasped to get up and remember that this is not my day.  This is the Lord’s day.  He is the one to whom focus should be given.  To Him be the glory.

Once again, the Lord gave me the strength to endure and for a good reason.  The sermon was on Hebrews 11:1-19, focusing on Faith.  I continued to read all of Hebrews 11 and as I listened to the sermon, counted up how many times the word faith was used in Hebrews 11:1-40.  Twenty four times.  God’s chosen people who endured trials and tribulations of all sorts all had one thing in common, they had Faith.  As quoted…”By Faith”!

Realizing my uncertainty about my health is a natural human feeling, “by faith” I am encouraged.  Encouraged that God has a plan in this new journey He has our family on.  He will provide all that we need as long as we trust and have faith in Him.   Just as He is providing the support and continued help of our church family and friends, He will also use this time of affliction for His glory.  As I continue to tell others who are walking this Lyme journey with me, His Will Is His Outcome.

As Isaac Watts wrote in this Hymn in 1709:

I’m not ashamed to own my Lord, Or to defend his cause, Maintain the honor of his Word, The glory of his cross.  Jesus, my God; I know his name, His Name is all my trust; Nor will he put my soul to shame, Nor let my hope be lost.  Firm as his throne his promise stands, and he can well secure What I’ve committed to his hands Till the decisive hour.  Then will he own my worth-less name Before his Father’s face, And in the new Jerusalem Appoint my soul a place.  Amen

Faith, the binding hope and trust between humanity and an almighty righteous God.

Why?

Contentment?

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Ordinarily I do not ride on the tails of others, however, I felt that this mornings devotional reading by C.H. Spurgeon was worth sharing.  How often do we flit here and flit there looking for things to make us happy?  Is the insanity of looking for contentment elsewhere a cost worthy investment when we are currently rich with possibilities?  When we are afflicted with uncontrollable and unforeseen circumstances, are we willing to sit back and accept God’s will for us at that moment in time?  Are we content?  If the answer is no, how do we find contentment in our time of great need?  It’s not through the ability of our own, it’s through the Lord Jesus Christ, our faith in Him and our trust in His sovereign grace that we can learn how to sow flowers of contentment.  From Morning and Evening Daily Reading by C.H. Spurgeon:

“I have learned, in whatever state I am, therewith to be content.”
Philippians 4:11

These words show us that contentment is not a natural propensity of man. “Ill weeds grow apace.” Covetousness, discontent, and murmuring are as natural to man as thorns are to the soil. We need not sow thistles and brambles; they come up naturally enough, because they are indigenous to earth: and so, we need not teach men to complain; they complain fast enough without any education. But the precious things of the earth must be cultivated. If we would have wheat, we must plough and sow; if we want flowers, there must be the garden, and all the gardener’s care. Now, contentment is one of the flowers of heaven, and if we would have it, it must be cultivated; it will not grow in us by nature; it is the new nature alone that can produce it, and even then we must be specially careful and watchful that we maintain and cultivate the grace which God has sown in us. Paul says, “I have learned … to be content;” as much as to say, he did not know how at one time. It cost him some pains to attain to the mystery of that great truth. No doubt he sometimes thought he had learned, and then broke down. And when at last he had attained unto it, and could say, “I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content,” he was an old, grey-headed man, upon the borders of the grave–a poor prisoner shut up in Nero’s dungeon at Rome. We might well be willing to endure Paul’s infirmities, and share the cold dungeon with him, if we too might by any means attain unto his good degree. Do not indulge the notion that you can be contented without learning, or learn without discipline. It is not a power that may be exercised naturally, but a science to be acquired gradually. We know this from experience. Brother, hush that murmur, natural though it be, and continue a diligent pupil in the College of Content.

On this sabbath day, my prayer is for all those afflicted with physical challenges and those afflicted with the challenges of life to look beyond their current disabilities and to seek sowing a field of contentment.  Even being shut up in a home because of ailments can bring out contentment if you look hard enough.  After all, we are warm, we have food, we have clean clothes and we are not sitting in a cold dungeon of persecution.   Be blessed in the education and discipline of learning contentment.

memories

Less to say, more to see…

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Since I’ve had my setback, I’ve not been up to having to think much about blogging. I have enjoyed posts of other bloggers, however, my brain seems to be on hold. Therefore, I am going to share a few pictures that I feel are reflective of our week.  After all, who isn’t watching the Olympics.   Enjoy!

Olympic Training Center – Go team USA!
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Our son’s first and prayerfully last car accident this past weekend.  Makes all my pains and woes seem insignificant.  Shaken yet not bruised, he and a friend made it out unscathed other than a minor dash burn on the knee (because they both were in kilts after competing in the local regional qualifiers).  The car didn’t fair as well, we will have to see just what they are going to do with it.

Praise the Lord for His almighty mercy on our family.  How can we ask more anything more?  Life is so precious, our children are a gift from the Lord to be loved, praised and cared for.  Instructing in the way of the Lord so that He may be glorified.IMG_0711

Why?

Individually Created

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Anecdotes for loving one another even if you don’t see eye to eye in every area of your lives:

1. Remember, God created each of us individually, a beautiful arrangement that He can look upon with joy!

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2. Think about how boring the world would be if we all behaved and acted alike. It’s okay to stand out and accept those who do not fit in a square societal box!

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3. Rather than asking yourself why others aren’t doing enough, ask yourself whether or not you are doing enough!

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4. Remember, true forgiveness and hope for restoration always come after repentance, not before.

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5. Keep in mind that most of us are ugly caterpillars before we bloom into beautiful butterflies.

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Lymes, Why?

Why was I a guest?

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So many days sitting, waiting, healing and praying.  Praying for the return of the healthy, strong, fearless body that did not often sit idle.  I have not asked God “why pain? or why illness? or why me?” in this journey.  I guess I look at the adversity of life and know that it’s not about climbing the mountain to be close to Him, it’s about the nourishment in the valley.  After all, the top of the mountain is usually quite cold, brown and lonely.  The valley is warm, and green with lush grass and flowing streams.  It’s a place where the Lord can meet you where you are at, providing comfort, company and substance for healing not just for the body yet also the soul.  If I question Him and ask “why me” then I am not trusting His will for me.  What I have asked is “why has he chosen me out of so many”.  Chosen me to be a part of His kingdom.  I am a sinner whose sins are no less than anyone else, yet He has chosen me to be a part of an eternal plan.

As we sang in service yesterday, I considered the words in one of the hymns.  It’s a beautiful hymn whose words and musical components made my inner being stir. To not embarrass myself nor my family by falling down on my knees, I sat quietly praising Him in my thoughts as the words streamed out of my mouth.  How can I ask for any more than that which I am already blessed with.  After all, this life is only a warm up to an eternity!

Isaac Watts, 1707                                                                                                                        “How sweet and awful is the place, With Christ within the doors, While ever lasting love displays The choicest of her stores.                                          
While all our hearts and all our songs Join to admire the feast, Each of us cry, with thankful tongues, “Lord, why was I a guest?”                                    
“Why was I made to hear thy voice And enter while there’s room, When thousands make a wretched choice, And rather starve than come?”                                  
‘Twas the same love that spread the feast that sweetly drew us in; Else we had still refused to taste, and perished in our sin.                                        
Pity the nations, O our God Constrain the earth to come; Send they victorious Word abroad, And bring the strangers home.                                              
We long to see thy churches full, That all the chosen race May, with one voice and heart and soul, Sing thy redeeming grace.  Amen”

Matthew 7:13  “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.