Tag Archives: husband

Joy Through Affliction



Can I somehow relay to anyone through my words how much rejoicing has been going on in my heart the last few months and especially yesterday?  I mean, even though my Lyme symptoms have returned, my joy in Him has not subsided.

Psalm 4:7   You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound.

Psalm 71:23  My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed.

My husband and I have been married for 21 years next month.  During that time we have had many trials, heart aches, and afflictions overwhelm our relationship.  Through every timely attack, we have managed to cling to one another.  Oh, it’s not always been easy, and for the first 12 years it was especially tough in our home.  I remember my early walk with the Lord, knowing and understanding fully who He was, as being a lonely venture.  Lonely in that God’s timing for my husband was not in sync with His timing with me.  I prayed for those twelve years that God would change my husbands heart, that He would show my husband His Word and Grace so that we could grow together.  At times, God likely heard my prayers to be more like begging.  Pleading for the release of my husbands hardened heart so that he would hear God’s calling and crave to know the truth as I was learning it.  Let’s just clearly say, it was a long 12 years and the support from others to continue on was at times quite at odds with scripture and felt more like worldly advice  attacks.

At the bible study I attended weekly during that time, an older, wiser Titus 2 woman who was in our leaders group reminded all of us through a devotional that sometimes we need to release our wants and desires and give it up to the Lord, for as we know all things are in His timing.  That our will was not always His will and that we needed to trust Him.

Wow!  Wait… hold the presses… I knew that!  Yet my daily prayer for 12 consistent years had been pleading my will upon the Lord’s heartstrings.  I was begging for something rather than trusting and praying for God’s will to be done in my husbands life.  Why had I not asked God for my own patience?  Why had I not prayed for acceptance of where God had my husband at that time?  I remember beating myself up about my own prayers and how selfish they were.  I wasn’t trusting God to just do as He needed.  It was that day that I went home and got on my knees and asked for God’s forgiveness in not trusting Him.  I repented for my lack of patience and asked God to give me strength to wait upon Him and His timing for my husband…. If that is what the Lord intended.  I did not know if my husband would ever accept Christ nor if God would ever even call upon my husband to be one of His flock.  I just knew that I needed to trust the plan God had for us and to stay true to Him and all that He is.

Two weeks from the day of that prayer, my husband was asked by a personal friend who he respected, if he wanted to begin a bible study with him.  My husband accepted the invitation.  We went to the store and bought him a study bible and he began studying God’s word.  I kid you not, I stood in amazement.  I have to say that for a period of time, God allowed my husband to continue serving the prince of the earth while also learning about God’s truth.  There was a true battle of good vs. evil at work.  At the final turning point,  the crushing lowest point of my husbands life, he began to see that he could not be of both worlds and the Lord began to strengthen my husbands desire for truth and soften his once hardened heart.  He admittedly prayed about hypocracy and that he no longer wanted the sinful part of his life.  He asked God for help in getting rid of the sins and continued temptations that were trying to overtake him.

John 3:5-8  Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.  That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is born of the spirit.  Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’  The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.  So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

God did not turn a blind eye.  He helped my husband see the errors of his ways, and gave him the nourishment of truth that he so desired.  The ever present Holy Spirit walked with him giving him an unknown desire for learning the scriptures.  As time went forth, the fruit of God’s work in his life was being seen and his life was reflective of a life being lived out to serve our heavenly creator.

John 15:1-11  “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.  Every branch in me that  does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.  Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you.  Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you,  unless you abide in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.  If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.  If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.  As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you.  Abide in my love.  If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.  These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

All of those years since, I and others have seen a complete transformation.  Out of darkness came a blessing of light that has touched the lives of so many.   He has over that last 9 years, become the man I prayed for him to become.  He may live in this world yet he too is not of this world.  He was called, he heard, he acted.  He has not taken the gospel for granted.  He studies, he craves the word, and he longs for truth.  All in God’s timing!

John 15:16-17   You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.  These things I command you, so that you will love one another. 

Romans 12:2  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed  by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

You may ask what in the world this has to do with my joy.  Well, yesterday my beloved husband was blessed with the induction of becoming a deacon in our church.  This is not a role to be taken lightly.  For many months our family in Christ has been praying over those being called into this position, and we have been praying that “God’s Will Be Done”.

1 Timothy 3:8-13  Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain.  They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.  And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless.  Their wives must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.  Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their  own households well.  For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.  

I was asked by several people yesterday how I felt to be a deacons wife.  Honestly, I am not sure I should feel any different.  After all, my husband has been called to a role he is meant to serve in, and I am gladly sitting by supporting him, just as I have been supporting him our entire 21 years of marriage.

Romans 12:3  For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself  more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgement, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.  

If I have to admit to any feeling, it would be joy.  Joy over the transformation  that has carried my husband out of death and into Life.

John 20:30-31  Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Romans 6:23  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God, is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I am not overly joyful about titles, yet I am overjoyed at the knowledge I have of where we have been and where we are today.  I am also overjoyed at knowing that God’s timing is perfect, in every way and that my husbands serving heart embraces God’s will.

Romans 14:16-18    So do not let what you regard as good to be spoken of as evil.  For the kingdom of God  is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.  Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved  by men.

Since I know he reads my blogs, I want to add one more thing:

Honey, I love you and am pleased to be on this journey with you.  Together,  we can support one another through all that comes our way with the strength of  Jesus Christ.  I love you!

I know that I am not alone in saying congratulations.  🙂  


Jim would be proud that you have been a willing servant for He who rescued you out of death to give you Life and that you continue to trust in His will over all that comes your way.  I knew when I saw you helping Jim with his final walk toward everlasting peace with the Lord, that your were meant to serve your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  With this last year being so tough, you never wavered taking care of me.  

Thank you My Love, and yes, I am pleased to say I am a deacons wife!   



Why Proverbs 31:10-31?


    10 [d] An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
    11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.
    12 She does him good, and not harm,
    all the days of her life.
    13 She seeks wool and flax,
    and works with willing hands.
    14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
    she brings her food from afar.
    15 She rises while it is yet night
    and provides food for her household
    and portions for her maidens.
    16 She considers a field and buys it;
    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
    17 She dresses herself[e] with strength
    and makes her arms strong.
    18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
    19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
    and her hands hold the spindle.
    20 She opens her hand to the poor
    and reaches out her hands to the needy.
    21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[f]
    22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
    her clothing is fine linen and purple.
    23 Her husband is known in the gates
    when he sits among the elders of the land.
    24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
    she delivers sashes to the merchant.
    25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    and she laughs at the time to come.
    26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
    27 She looks well to the ways of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
    28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
    29 “Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
    30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
    31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates.

Why is this important to me?

Oh, I remember when we were first married and how I would get up in the morning, make coffee, make breakfast and bring it to my new husband on a tray as my mother did for so many years for my father. I remember talking him into letting me do his laundry as I thought that it was important that I be the one to do it for him. I remember wanting to please him in so many ways whether it be helping him grow his business by handwriting mailers at night after our dinner, helping him with seminars or just supporting him when his days were long and uncertainty was great. I remember even taking up golf, which was important to him.

As the years slipped by and we became accustomed to one another and we were drawn into life as a married couple, it seems that the routine of breakfasts, laundry, golf, and so many other things became a thing of the past. We had children that needed our attention, my husbands career changed and I was needed in different ways to support him, and society convinced us that being a part of the community was more important. Time for our family unit was short, time for us was minimal and it seems that the once important process of pleasing one another as we once had became a thing of the past.

As I attended Community Bible Study one fall, we began the study of Proverbs. I was a core leader at the time and had a wonderful group of ladies that were Titus women, helping me as a facilitator to grow in my understanding of the Proverbs. We discussed many items in our discussions and I will never forget some of the wisdom passed down from several of them.

1. Community service is great, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the family first. We have limited time to be with our children, so use this time to raise them and help them to be seekers of the Word first. Charities can wait.

2. When doing housework, do we dread it or are we taking in the blessing that God has bestowed upon us. After all, we wouldn’t have mounds of laundry, piles of dishes, books and games sprawled upon the tables and floors if God had not allowed us to become wives and mothers. Perhaps we should enjoy every moment folding that laundry and cleaning up those toys.

3. When your husband comes home what does he come home to? Is he coming home to a house in chaos or a house of love that is joyful to return to when he opens the door. Taking a look at how our household runs makes an impact on our marriages and the life of our children.

4. And finally Proverbs 31:10-31. The view of husbands upon their wives. Keepers of the home, trustworthy, God fearing, God loving, trusting and hardworking that never ceases. One of the Titus women commented on even our appearance. Although we as Christian women know that our husbands love us for who we are without fanfare, we need to consider how they spend their days and the temptations that they are exposed to. If they spend their days at the office with women who are wearing clothing that is appealing, if they are made to feel more important by those who look up to them, or if they are with women who just plain want a life with them then as wives we put our families at risk when we allow our husbands to come home to frump city. We should consider taking a shower, making dinner and putting on clothes that represent the wonderful provider he is. We should perhaps put on some makeup or at least brush our hair and greet him with a loving nature that shows him how important he is.

I remember this woman looking at all of us in the room and her wonderful words of wisdom and I began to reflect upon the generations of past. One of my grandmother’s would do all of her cleaning, cooking and charity work during the day and by 3:00 p.m. it was time to clean up for my grandfather. My other grandmother raised 6 children, and I remember seeing a video of her on a sledding hill with her beautiful dress and winter coat helping her children get onto their sleds. My mother did much the same thing, having dinner ready when my dad came home and retreating to their room for their half hour of quiet time together before facing the children and the problems of the day.

I remember thinking also how I allowed life and society to interfere with my delight in taking care of my family. I posted Proverbs 31:10-31 on my kitchen refrigerator and pondered it daily until I began to truly feel those words on my heart. It took years, yet it worked. I now consider my life as a wife and mother to be the most joyful, most successful thing I have ever done and will ever do. Oh, it’s not perfect daily, and I could always do better, yet as I see how I viewed this blessing 10-15 years ago and compare it to now, I see growth.

That is why Proverbs 31:10-31. I know that it means different things to different women. I know that not all will agree with what my opinion is. That is fine. I am just giving an explanation of why it’s an important part of my life and why it’s at the top of my blog. I hope to pass it down to my daughter for generations yet to come to follow. I hope that the Lord Blesses us with generational strength to be Titus women teaching what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman.