I cannot believe it has been almost a year since my last post. I also cannot believe that I had the incredible blessing last year of sharing with others endurance through suffering. That my last post would be so important to me in my own life at this time. God’s merciful grace, through preparing His beloved, is so awe-inspiring that no words can describe. Only tears of joy can show how truly grateful I am for that study last year.
As I work through loss in my life, I find myself clinging to the Lord Jesus and His Word ever so much more. I am reminded that suffering is expected, suffering will come, and suffering can be overcome if we remember the only one we can count on for clarity, comfort, peace, wisdom and resolution is the Lord God Almighty. If we are faithful to taking all of our concerns to Him, we will not be disappointed.
All of us live in a fallen world of brokenness, of which we are not immune from. We wrestle with the loneliness that comes from relationship loss, abandonment, and physical bodily death. We wrestle with the wrongs that come against us in times when we think we are doing good, we wrestle with accusations made against us that are unwarranted and we wrestle with crushing name calling by others. We do not have to wrestle with however, the knowledge that we are loved unconditionally by a creator who has chosen us out of this broken world to do good works in serving Him to the best of our ability. Born into sin and saved by grace to a life filled with hope. Sharing that hope in all that we do with joy, kindness, love, patience and prayer. So that others will see in us the light of majesty in our Lord.
Satan is working overtime right now against God’s beloved and we have to pray for our brothers and sisters asking for God’s providential care to prepare the way for sight in seeing truth, to heal broken hearts, to sweeten taste of bitterness and to protect those who are yet to be called to Him. We need to be praying for the sins of those who know better, pray for those that hold judgmental thoughts against others, and for all of those who cannot control the temptation to demean others for their own self preservation.
There are so many things we fear in this broken world, and yet we do not need to fear if we have the Lord Jesus as our savior. Our sacrifices in this life are nothing compared to the sacrifices He has made for us. No matter what we do on this earth for the good of others is not even close to what He has done for others. We need to uphold the standards that He set with humility, love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding. Doing what is right in the sight of God for those who need to be encouraged. That includes ourselves. If we take on the burdens that others try to heap upon our feeble bodies, we are not serving God. We serve ourselves. God is the only one who can change hearts. God is the only one who can lighten the load of heavy burdens. God is the only one who can move mountains that stubbornly hold their ground. God is the only one who can transform evil into good. God is the only one who can save out of death and can give life. God is the only one who can remind us that we are starving for spiritual truth more than we are starving for food. We need to have the humility to admit that we are not strong enough to do it ourselves. We need to call upon the Holy Spirit to give us clarity and wisdom to know best how to serve in humility in all that comes before us. That we would not stand proud over our accomplishments, yet that we would give Him glory for the blessings He has provided. Oh how this broken world tries to control that which is not controllable.
We have to rely on a Holy God who can take away the pain for us, who can give us strength in the most impossible situations and who can comfort us in our mourning. God be with you friends as you endure another hour, day, month and year. Till I write again….. goodnight.
I once again had the privilege and honor of facilitating a discussion at a woman’s bible study of which I feel incredibly blessed to be a part of. We are studying Christian suffering. With this week being an emotional time for our city and community, I feel it is timely to share this discussion with others. God’s providential care over the presentation of His Word and validation of the gospel and Jesus through suffering is just too much to comprehend. Showing support for Christians during times of suffering and allowing suffering to be a testimony of Christ to unbelievers is sometimes overlooked.
May the Lord be glorified as you read and be blessed with encouragements in difficult times.
1 Peter 4:19
[19] Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.
Key parts to this verse, those who suffer, God’s will, trust in a faithful Creator, and while doing good.
We have been discussing suffering and God’s will, we have touched on trusting our faithful creator and today we get to also talk about doing good.
What does it mean to be doing good? The KJV definition says the the word good means Valid; legally firm; not weak or defective; having strength adequate to its support. So what does this have to do with suffering and why is it important?
Being a testimony in our own faith through suffering, we help to validate the Word of God because He wills it to be so. We cannot validate, God validates through our suffering. We have an opportunity to witness, to unbelievers, through our suffering, using God’s Word that the sacrifice of a child (being Jesus Christ and Jesus alone) for the sins of others is not weak or defective. We are given the strength adequate to support the love of a creator to give life to the broken and to heal the sick. Faith through suffering, helps to bind us closer to our Father in an unbreakable relationship as it was created to be in the beginning.
1 Peter 5:1-5
Shepherd the Flock of God
[1] So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: [2] shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; [3] not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. [4] And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. [5] Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Our Elders are given clear instructions in scripture of the lives they should live, what their duty is, how they are to lead etc. As part of the shepherds flock that the Lord has called us to be, we sometimes struggle to find that clear instruction of who or what we should be doing with our faith. We know that we will suffer, we know through the great commission that we are to go out and make disciples of all nations, to be teaching spreading the word of God that has been taught. Yet as human beings in a broken world, we sometimes find ourselves in one of two camps, overzealous or unenthusiastic without clear instruction as to the direction we head in our walk as a christian. Bunyan was great in describing the path and journey of Christian in Pilgrims’ Progress. There are obstacles, there are divisions in the path, and there are deceptive complications that stand before us.
We can either be overzealous, on fire for the Word, working as if it’s a job to put ourselves out there to make sure everyone is saved and everyone hears the gospel. Now, while this is not wrong at all as it’s a command for all who believe, sometimes we are doing it out of the inappropriate belief that out of works we are saved, and/or we blindly go about it out of glorification for our own self worth.
On the flip side, we could be unenthusiastic by just attending church on Sundays, ignoring God and God’s word the rest of the week and leaving the great commission to those who are outwardly and clearly gifted to be called and appointed to spread the gospel.
Our journey, as hard as it is to believe, is not unlike that of our Elders, lest we forget. We are ALL human. We are saved by Grace and God’s mercy has been placed upon us to do good just as they do. We are no different in that we are to join in the Great Commission, without fear, without worry about if we are doing it the right way or if we are qualified to do so, even through suffering. We have the opportunity to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ even in our suffering.
For review let’s read what scripture say:
Matthew 28:16-20
The Great Commission
[16] Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. [17] And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. [18] And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. [19] Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, [20] teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
When we suffer, we have an opportunity, no an obligation to our beloved Father, to remember who He is. Remember what sacrifice He has made and to remember that we are not of this world. That our suffering, brokenness, insecurities and awareness of sin is because we have a loving Father who gave us Jesus whom came before us. A Father who also gave us the Holy Spirit:
Romans 8:1-30
Life in the Spirit
[1] There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. [2] For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. [3] For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, [4] in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. [5] For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. [6] For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. [7] For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. [8] Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.[9] You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. [10] But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. [11] If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. [12] So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. [13] For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. [14] For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. [15] For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” [16] The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, [17] and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
We are set free from the law of sin and death, we set our minds on the things of the Spirit, of life and peace. The Spirit is life because of righteousness. We cry “Abba! Father!” Heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him.
Future Glory
[18] For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. [19] For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. [20] For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope [21] that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. [22] For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. [23] And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. [24] For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? [25] But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.[26] Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. [27] And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. [28] And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. [29] For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. [30] And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
Our book reminds us that 1Peter 4:19Jesus “entrusted himself to God.”
Being reformed members of the body of Christ we clearly understand that that God has predestined those He has chosen and called those who are to go out, as disciples to share in the glory of God. The Spirit helps us in our weakness. The Spirit knows how to intercede for us when the groanings are too much for us. It’s not about us, it’s about those who are yearning for the change of heart, that we have the opportunity and the privilege to share joy and hope in Jesus before humanity as a testimony.
2 Corinthians 4:7-10
Treasure in Jars of Clay
[7] But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. [8] We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; [9] persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; [10] always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.
This…this is how we know that we are called even through suffering that we are Christians by our suffering. This is our confirmation that suffering makes a difference. This is how we are encouraged to have joy through suffering, even when we cry out “Abba, Father”.
John Stott comments,
How did Jesus expect His disciples to react under persecution? [In Matt. 5:12 He said], “Rejoice and be glad!” We are not to retaliate like an unbeliever, nor sulk like a child, nor lick our wound in self-pity like a dog, nor just grin a bear it like a Stoic, still less pretend we enjoy it like a masochist. What then? We are to rejoice as a Christian should and even “leap for joy” (Lk. 6:23).4
Luke 6:20-23
The Beatitudes
[20] And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said:“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. [21] “Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied. “Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh. [22] “Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! [23] Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.
Before I move on I have two thoughts about this. First, leaping for joy does not necessarily mean that we literally leap for joy. We rejoice with joy in the fact that we have the opportunity to experience suffering as God would have us, at His will. That our faith is strengthened through suffering because we have all the trust in the world that we are not in control, God is. And we trust that.
Also, we cannot and should not worry about or judge ourselves or others, including other Christians, as to the way in which they react and suffer. From the outside someone may look like they are being stoic or showing joy like a masochist, or seemingly anxious in what seems to be self pity, yet we cannot truly know where their faith is at that moment. How God chooses to use their suffering and how He chooses to utilize their growth in faith to be a testimony in suffering is as God sees fit and should not be something we need to make a judgement call on.
Many believers and non believers alike, share in humanity, emotions, sinfulness, weeping and joy. One’s immediate reaction to suffering in their life is nothing short of normal. We cannot judge what the outcome of their suffering and response to suffering will bring. Sharing your own testimony to suffering and the strength it took to get through it should never be frowned upon or looked upon as bragging. As long as God is glorified through that testimony and if prayer stands behind it we should rejoice that the Lord has opened the door to do so. Each Christian has a struggle, some will struggle more with wanting to know why while others will not. That’s ok. As long as we proclaim victory in Christ we know that our suffering was for the good.
This moves us into the next section of How do we share in the suffering of other believers? And how do we know we are supposed to?
1 Corinthians 12:26
[26] If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
We’ve all heard the saying misery loves company. I really hate that statement, yet sometimes it’s a bit truer than I would like to admit depending on how you read that. We find connections to people who have suffered as we have suffered. We find support groups for just about every type of suffering don’t we? Support groups do not remove the pain and anguish we feel, they do however, bring us together and bind us together in suffering. Support groups are great if they are giving comfort and tools to grow through the anguish, and what a better way to offer that comfort than to share the gospel to unbelievers. So even though I dislike the misery loves company verbiage, it does offer opportunity for believers and unbelievers alike to share in a way that sometimes may not otherwise occur.
As I am completing this lesson for study today, I am taking breaks to tune in to the Wisconsin Darrell Brooks sentencing part of the trial. Hearing the families and their anguish, there have been many that have shared that through the grace of God they are getting through. They are trusting in God to give them strength each day to not dwell on what happened and that today they have closure as one step closer. These families have been able to share with one another the grief of loss, and anguish of suffering at the hands of evil. They been bound together in circumstance through tragedy, strengthening one another through their suffering as a community. While I cannot judge Mr. Brooks heart and what God will do with him, from outward appearance, I can and will use the word evil as he shook his head yes to one parent saying that he hopes he rots in hell, and clapped or laughed when others were done sharing their tragic story. Pure evil in the face of the suffering created at his own hands. Still trying to understand if he did that in his hopes of seeing Satan. Only God knows and only God knows his true heart.
I praise God that these families have the opportunity to share the strength they have been given and proclaimed God as the source. As one young man shared, he has joy that Mr. Brooks cannot take away, even though this life has changed and the last year has been a journey. It takes a profound amount of maturity in faith to say that he can forgive. This… this is what it means to suffer for Christ. Claiming victory over suffering for Christ. Not allowing our suffering to define who are. Allowing our strength to come from the Holy Spirit and sharing that strength with others. It’s not being showy, it’s not being stoic or being a masochist if Christ is at the center and proclaimed to be at the center of our grief. It’s an example of what the Lord offers through the sacrifice of His son for sinners like us.
To those who are still suffering through this tragedy, I continue to pray for God’s strength to be given to them, that they will be encouraged through no strength of their own to trust in a Holy God and His will over this entire debacle. Job was rattled in his own suffering so it is not to be expected no matter how faithful one is. Being able to turn to the Word and relying on God’s truth rather than man’s truth is what I pray for these families. I also pray that evil will be casted out of Mr. Brooks and that He will submit to the Lord and will repent honestly and truly, offering humility before God. We will not know easily if this will happen as again, it is God’s will and only God knows the true condition of his heart.
We are qualified to share the gospel because we suffer as Christ suffered, we are called to do good because the word is not defective and we are strengthened because we have been predestined to have encouragement and faith to give glory to a creator who not only gave us life on earth, but also everlasting life with Him.
Friends, to whom do you place your trust? Is it in yourself? Perhaps in the depths of despair you may offer your creator your submission to Him and His will. Just a thought. Just a prayer for you this day as you read this blog.
The new venue on Lake Michigan. It truly was beautiful.
Colossians 1:3-5
Friends, it has been too long. Let me catch you up a bit….
After I wrote to you, the wedding plans for our son and his fiancé were in full bloom. Making centerpieces for both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding, planning at the venue with the third event planner, preparing for the day, dress alterations, and the list goes on. It was a very busy time yet we were able to sneak in a quick trip on the RV for a long weekend.
Two weeks prior to the wedding, my husband tested positive for COVID. This put everyone in panic mode. We kept him quarantined, our daughter and myself tested and came out negative, our son moved out the moment my husband was heading to the doctor and we prayed deeply that God would work out all of the details. My mom came in to town to help with wedding prep and I am praising God she did as she and I spent a week outside in 80-90 degree weather daily making signs that the kids wanted, finishing up the rehearsal dinner centerpieces, attaching flowers to the lanterns they wanted down the aisle and anything else that had yet to be completed.
One week to the day of my husbands diagnosis, I tested positive. Now this was one week prior to the wedding. The kids said they would make sure to video tape and live stream. I was crushed. One year planning and I may not even be able to attend my sons wedding? Once again, I prayed that God would take care of all the details. He knew my heart and He knew the prayers before I could speak them.
Well, just so happens that one day before my positive test, our son and future daughter-in-law had their bachelorette and bachelor parties. Our son and his crew went to Chicago to celebrate. That was on a Saturday. Well, by Tuesday, our son and 3 of his groomsmen tested positive. Two of which by the way had been given the gene therapy, i.e. vaccine. So….the wedding had to be postponed.
While I sat in quarantine in my room during the day, I began making calls and looking up new venues. The kids said that the DJ would not refund their money and that he could only do a Friday or a Sunday. The girls dresses were summer dresses. Our son was moved out, in theory, and we knew that timing was of the most importance. So the kids gave me a date which was two weeks later than their previous wedding date. After hours of searching, I found a venue at a park on the waterfront that was available to rent. This was now two days from my one week mark of being in quarantine. They went and looked at it and booked it. They also booked the waterfront for the wedding itself. (Thus began the planning of a whole new wedding in two weeks. Ordering table linens, renting chairs and a Uhaul, finding volunteers to help with set up and clean up and the list goes on.)
Two days after finding the venue I woke up at 2 a.m. to use the bathroom, struggled to breath getting there. My doctor had me on a known protocol to work, I was on MCAS meds daily, I was taking a steroid that was prescribed 5 days earlier, inhalers, natural remedies etc. I was not getting better. I laid there on my stomach trying to decide what to do. Around 6:30 a.m. I woke up my husband and told him to call the ambulance. With two rescue dogs, and one of which being very scared and uncertain, I felt it would be best if I could meet the EMT’s outside. So I went from our room, to the top of the stairs and almost fell. My daughter told me to get into her bed and she helped me lay down. Our scared little muffin knew something was wrong and she jumped on top of my legs and would not move. Our daughter had to wrestle her off and harness her to get her into our bedroom for the safety of the EMT’s and myself. They loaded me onto a chair and moved me down the stairs, carrying me, those poor guys. I’m not a light chicken so I’m sure that was their workout for the day. (wink)
I was in the hospital 6 days total. It was in itself another whole story I won’t go into today. Started out on 10 liters of oxygen, some scary diagnosis, oxygen level at 83, and 6 days later to the medical communities shock, I went home with no oxygen resting and 2 liters when moving. I mean it when I say shock.
People have asked me how I handled the isolation in the hospital and if I was scared of the diagnosis, potential direction I was going and or my condition. Truth be told, I was not. I’m not saying that it wasn’t unnerving, however, being scared was never something that overcame my being. I was in survival mode and I had a mighty warrior on my side. The TV channels were worthless, there was no one to talk to, especially since I couldn’t breath well, so I watched movies part of the time on my iPad that my husband dropped off and most of all I rested and prayed. My prayer life was consumed with glorifying an amazing God who not only created me, yet who was with me in that room, giving me strength and encouragement. I did not just pray for my healing, yet I prayed for the healing of those that were on the floor. The patient numbers had doubled during those 6 days. These folks needed prayer. The staff, which ran itself from room to room needed prayers. My kids, devastated at their wedding being postponed needed prayers. My parents, my kids, my husband needed prayers as they waited to see what was going to happen. The doctors needed prayers as they pulled every resource out of their hats to try and save peoples lives. There was nothing short of hours of prayer.
When I was sick with my Lyme, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. Just as I prayed then, I prayed in that hospital that “should You Lord, allow me to survive, I pray that I can be a blessing to others. Sharing what I know, how you provided the way and gave me strength. Please Lord do not let my suffering and healing go without sharing. That Lord, if I am not to survive and you are calling me home, I pray that others will see grace in my attitude, and that they will see a faithful servant to You. That You oh Lord will be blessed through all of this.”
Can you relate dear one? Have you been able to see the blessings of the Lord enrich your life with knowing Him? I don’t mean just on a Sunday or periodically when things get tough. I’m talking about daily discussions, prayers, and reliance on God through Jesus Christ. Are you secure in your love for Him and His for you?
As I have been healing, which will take months by the way, I have been praying over this blog and how to move on with it. My Love for sharing God’s word has opened and closed so many doors in the past. I’ve just been waiting. Then, as we traveled to worship on Sunday, I was sharing some of this with my husband and my loss of what to do and where to go with my new “empty nest” situation. I shared that I have felt very unworthy and I am feeling stuck with no direction. That I need to just keep waiting on the Lord, as I have done so many times over the last 26 years of knowing Him. Honestly, this has not been easy. Not as easy as relying on the Lord during my illness. I’ve just been waiting to hear from Him and for a hint of what to do next. Well, Gods message through our Elder, faithful servant as he is, was answering. In fact, we both walked out and stood in awe over the message that spoke directly to the situation I found myself. Are you curious enough to listen? Head on over to https://fallsopc.org and listen to this past Sundays message. My hope in my future “career” has been restored. Bonus, is that I am being given direction that didn’t come from my wants or needs…it came from a most Holy God whose love for me has been ever so consistent and efficient. I may not have the complete picture, yet I have the comfort and motivation mixed with the security in knowing that whatever door the Lord opens and whatever direction He guides me, it is for His glory.
Is there anything greater than the Love of the Lord God who created and gave His son for the sins of those whom love Him? When we read in Colossians 1:3-5 “the love that you have for all the saints” do we consider that is for us? Do we understand that true, unconditional, agape love from a righteous God is meant not just for the saints of the past, yet it’s also meant for us? Take some time to ponder what that means. Consider how pure and unchanging that is. Over centuries of mans faulty and sinful living, there is a holy Father in Heaven that gives a love that only a Father can give. Do you wander without direction? Are you fearful of the future? Are you fearful over an illness and death? Perhaps the Lord has led you to this blog to give you encouragement that there is something greater than fear and discouragement. There is a love surpasses all earthly concerns.
Friends, I encourage you to pray daily for the recognition of the Lord through Jesus Christ to overwhelm your spirit and soul so that you too may have comfort. Consider this prayer from Paul:
Ephesians 3:14-21
Prayer for Spiritual Strength
14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
I have been asked many times over the last several months how I have been able to handle sitting in our house day after day waiting to feel normal. People have admitted that they would have gone nuts or psychotic by now. My response has been consistent in that I can only trust that the Lord has given me the strength, encouragement and ability to get through. Oh, I’m not saying that it’s been a picnic. There have been moments of self absorbed awareness that this could be my new life and I have complained in tears that I just want to feel good and have my life back. The moments of self loathing are short lived and it never fails that a friend calls or stops by to check in and through laughter my emotional breakdown subsides and I am reminded that I’ve wasted healing energy feeling sorry for myself.
As spring comes upon us here in the midwest and the snow melts, I look up at the trees seeing what seems to be a sight of destruction in their limbs. Unsightly bare twigs attached to trunks that almost look to be nimble and weak. Even though they seem to be unhealthy and unstable in appearance, I know that as the ground thaws and the water begins to seep into their roots they will come alive with running sap and nourishment that will allow the limbs to bud with new blooms of leaves and flowers. The birds will cradle their nests between the branches, laying their eggs and feeding their chicks. The squirrels will jump from branch to branch chasing one another in play. The blooming of the leaves will shade certain areas of the yard, offering protection for spring plants that can only thrive in the shaded warmth of summer. The once unsightly sign of cold winter days will disappear and the beauty of spring and summer colors will cover the landscape reminding me of God’s healing power.
This is the picture I have in my mind. The picture I have hope in when I feel despair and this is how I see myself in the days yet to come. I think of my illness as a season that will fade away into another season of life. A season that will bloom with healing. My body frail like the tree in fall and winter, waiting to bloom again with vibrance and agility in spring and summer. Rooted in the Spirit, Fed by the Word and thriving through the Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Jeremiah 17:7,8
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:14
“Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise. ”
