Colossians 1:3-5

Friends, it has been too long. Let me catch you up a bit….

After I wrote to you, the wedding plans for our son and his fiancé were in full bloom. Making centerpieces for both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding, planning at the venue with the third event planner, preparing for the day, dress alterations, and the list goes on. It was a very busy time yet we were able to sneak in a quick trip on the RV for a long weekend.

Two weeks prior to the wedding, my husband tested positive for COVID. This put everyone in panic mode. We kept him quarantined, our daughter and myself tested and came out negative, our son moved out the moment my husband was heading to the doctor and we prayed deeply that God would work out all of the details. My mom came in to town to help with wedding prep and I am praising God she did as she and I spent a week outside in 80-90 degree weather daily making signs that the kids wanted, finishing up the rehearsal dinner centerpieces, attaching flowers to the lanterns they wanted down the aisle and anything else that had yet to be completed.

One week to the day of my husbands diagnosis, I tested positive. Now this was one week prior to the wedding. The kids said they would make sure to video tape and live stream. I was crushed. One year planning and I may not even be able to attend my sons wedding? Once again, I prayed that God would take care of all the details. He knew my heart and He knew the prayers before I could speak them.

Well, just so happens that one day before my positive test, our son and future daughter-in-law had their bachelorette and bachelor parties. Our son and his crew went to Chicago to celebrate. That was on a Saturday. Well, by Tuesday, our son and 3 of his groomsmen tested positive. Two of which by the way had been given the gene therapy, i.e. vaccine. So….the wedding had to be postponed.

While I sat in quarantine in my room during the day, I began making calls and looking up new venues. The kids said that the DJ would not refund their money and that he could only do a Friday or a Sunday. The girls dresses were summer dresses. Our son was moved out, in theory, and we knew that timing was of the most importance. So the kids gave me a date which was two weeks later than their previous wedding date. After hours of searching, I found a venue at a park on the waterfront that was available to rent. This was now two days from my one week mark of being in quarantine. They went and looked at it and booked it. They also booked the waterfront for the wedding itself. (Thus began the planning of a whole new wedding in two weeks. Ordering table linens, renting chairs and a Uhaul, finding volunteers to help with set up and clean up and the list goes on.)

Two days after finding the venue I woke up at 2 a.m. to use the bathroom, struggled to breath getting there. My doctor had me on a known protocol to work, I was on MCAS meds daily, I was taking a steroid that was prescribed 5 days earlier, inhalers, natural remedies etc. I was not getting better. I laid there on my stomach trying to decide what to do. Around 6:30 a.m. I woke up my husband and told him to call the ambulance. With two rescue dogs, and one of which being very scared and uncertain, I felt it would be best if I could meet the EMT’s outside. So I went from our room, to the top of the stairs and almost fell. My daughter told me to get into her bed and she helped me lay down. Our scared little muffin knew something was wrong and she jumped on top of my legs and would not move. Our daughter had to wrestle her off and harness her to get her into our bedroom for the safety of the EMT’s and myself. They loaded me onto a chair and moved me down the stairs, carrying me, those poor guys. I’m not a light chicken so I’m sure that was their workout for the day. (wink)

I was in the hospital 6 days total. It was in itself another whole story I won’t go into today. Started out on 10 liters of oxygen, some scary diagnosis, oxygen level at 83, and 6 days later to the medical communities shock, I went home with no oxygen resting and 2 liters when moving. I mean it when I say shock.

People have asked me how I handled the isolation in the hospital and if I was scared of the diagnosis, potential direction I was going and or my condition. Truth be told, I was not. I’m not saying that it wasn’t unnerving, however, being scared was never something that overcame my being. I was in survival mode and I had a mighty warrior on my side. The TV channels were worthless, there was no one to talk to, especially since I couldn’t breath well, so I watched movies part of the time on my iPad that my husband dropped off and most of all I rested and prayed. My prayer life was consumed with glorifying an amazing God who not only created me, yet who was with me in that room, giving me strength and encouragement. I did not just pray for my healing, yet I prayed for the healing of those that were on the floor. The patient numbers had doubled during those 6 days. These folks needed prayer. The staff, which ran itself from room to room needed prayers. My kids, devastated at their wedding being postponed needed prayers. My parents, my kids, my husband needed prayers as they waited to see what was going to happen. The doctors needed prayers as they pulled every resource out of their hats to try and save peoples lives. There was nothing short of hours of prayer.

When I was sick with my Lyme, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. Just as I prayed then, I prayed in that hospital that “should You Lord, allow me to survive, I pray that I can be a blessing to others. Sharing what I know, how you provided the way and gave me strength. Please Lord do not let my suffering and healing go without sharing. That Lord, if I am not to survive and you are calling me home, I pray that others will see grace in my attitude, and that they will see a faithful servant to You. That You oh Lord will be blessed through all of this.”

Can you relate dear one? Have you been able to see the blessings of the Lord enrich your life with knowing Him? I don’t mean just on a Sunday or periodically when things get tough. I’m talking about daily discussions, prayers, and reliance on God through Jesus Christ. Are you secure in your love for Him and His for you?

As I have been healing, which will take months by the way, I have been praying over this blog and how to move on with it. My Love for sharing God’s word has opened and closed so many doors in the past. I’ve just been waiting. Then, as we traveled to worship on Sunday, I was sharing some of this with my husband and my loss of what to do and where to go with my new “empty nest” situation. I shared that I have felt very unworthy and I am feeling stuck with no direction. That I need to just keep waiting on the Lord, as I have done so many times over the last 26 years of knowing Him. Honestly, this has not been easy. Not as easy as relying on the Lord during my illness. I’ve just been waiting to hear from Him and for a hint of what to do next. Well, Gods message through our Elder, faithful servant as he is, was answering. In fact, we both walked out and stood in awe over the message that spoke directly to the situation I found myself. Are you curious enough to listen? Head on over to https://fallsopc.org and listen to this past Sundays message. My hope in my future “career” has been restored. Bonus, is that I am being given direction that didn’t come from my wants or needs…it came from a most Holy God whose love for me has been ever so consistent and efficient. I may not have the complete picture, yet I have the comfort and motivation mixed with the security in knowing that whatever door the Lord opens and whatever direction He guides me, it is for His glory.

Is there anything greater than the Love of the Lord God who created and gave His son for the sins of those whom love Him? When we read in Colossians 1:3-5 “the love that you have for all the saints” do we consider that is for us? Do we understand that true, unconditional, agape love from a righteous God is meant not just for the saints of the past, yet it’s also meant for us? Take some time to ponder what that means. Consider how pure and unchanging that is. Over centuries of mans faulty and sinful living, there is a holy Father in Heaven that gives a love that only a Father can give. Do you wander without direction? Are you fearful of the future? Are you fearful over an illness and death? Perhaps the Lord has led you to this blog to give you encouragement that there is something greater than fear and discouragement. There is a love surpasses all earthly concerns.

Friends, I encourage you to pray daily for the recognition of the Lord through Jesus Christ to overwhelm your spirit and soul so that you too may have comfort. Consider this prayer from Paul:

Ephesians 3:14-21

Prayer for Spiritual Strength 

¹⁴ For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, ¹⁵ from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, ¹⁶ that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, ¹⁹ and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 

²⁰ Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.