Category Archives: memories

Graduation Day

A blessing that will be remembered for many years to come.  Celebrated with our closest friends, church family and a few of our immediate family members.

I remember our sons first day of school and I also remember his first day of homeschooling.  We both were excited at the new adventure, yet we were also a bit nervous over what the years would bring.  It wasn’t always easy as I not only prepared lesson plans for one class, but all of them.  At times I felt like I had lived under a rock over my 40+ years.  We learned together in most subjects and I wondered if I was doing a good job.   There was always worry….  There were a few years that we put almost 100 miles a week on the car driving from sports activities, volunteering opportunities,  to music lessons.   I used to tell my husband that being a stay at home mom is not easy and I will not know how well I’ve done my job until our children turned 18 and I see the end result of who they become.  After all, there is no evaluation at the end of each year, there is no paycheck handed to you and there are no promotions.

At this point, I weep with joy over the end of our adventure as I see a once little boy become a young man.  He is first and foremost a Godly individual who wants to serve the Lord in all he does.  He is polite, happy, easy going (most of the time) and he is incredibly smart.  He graduated last weekend with a near 4. GPA, and he is also at a sophomore level in college.   Well, I can praise God for leading us through this part of our journey between mother and son and thank Him for His glory that saw us through the difficulties.  We could only have done it with the power of prayer and strength from Him whom we trust.

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A selfie with mom!

 

 

Garden Spot

It’s been a long couple of weeks with our oldest graduating from High School.  We’ve had yard work, basement organizing, garage cleaning, food prep, High School Road Rally organizing, etc.  Yes there has been more, however, this is the A list.  All that being said, my health has been up and down.  My latest blood draw came out a complete mess and shows I’m still very sick with many co-infections, yet the Lyme results are actually getting better.  I am praising God for this news!  I was surprised to find that last week when my doctor gave me a B12 shot due to my B12 being so low,  I felt like the energizer bunny the following day.  My aching body felt better and I had the energy to finish out the week without debilitating exhaustion (at least 4 days).  Note to self:  schedule the monthly B12 shot around events!!

So, we made it through last weekend with no obvious issues.  Now, I am enjoying a clean house, lots of left overs and the quiet that follows the commotion of such an event.  Today  my mom and I took my daughter to a movie and out to dinner.  Two of her favorite things, and two of my favorite things to do with her.

I thought about my blog and how behind I am, realizing that there is much to report on.  The hydroponic system was completed yesterday and I put in the tomatoes this morning. Thought I’d show you how everything is looking thus far.  The hydroponics, the Garden Tower, the bean pots and the herbs.

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The bees died this spring but a hive was discovered in the neighboring farmers woods so we took two of the boxes with empty frames and placed them on top of an old hive.  This is a complete experiment to see if we will harvest any honey in the fall.

The trip out to the old hives had me in a panic, so I prepared by suiting up and brought one of my dearest friends with me to help me with the lifting as my strength still has not returned.  The highlight was riding on the farmers tractor as I had never done this before.  Before Lyme, I prayed for a farm, now I’ll take an Urban Farm.  Although the tractor ride was GREAT!   Can you say oompa loompa?  ha ha

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Who doesn’t love a farm cat!  (I looked for ticks before I petted her… Isn’t that sad?

I did also look at the white suit when we returned out of the woods and was shocked to not find any ticks.  Another blessing!

 

On our way…

We are on our way….

Here is the Garden Tower –

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Here are the bees –

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Yes, if you look closely,  you will see real bees after I had just shaken them into the hive and if you look even closer I did paint the bee hive with little additional bee friends.  🙂

The hydroponics just arrived today.  We will get that going next week…. to be continued…

 

 

The life of a cat…

Spring flowers are blooming, the grass is green, and the birds are sweetly chirping…now that could be the reason for the 4:00 wake up calls by “the” cat.  It just has to be that he hears the birds and since they are awake we should be too.  Especially when he knows breakfast will be served upon our feet hitting the carpet.  There are no meows, only a high pitched chirping whine, every five minutes.  Seriously you would think he was dying.  We used to listen to him for two hours before hiking downstairs to feet them (since we usually make their food), now, we put the dishes upstairs along with a can of food and we feed them as soon as the one cat begins his chirping.  Usually we can fall back asleep…not today!

I’m awake, yawning of course, sitting here laughing at how quiet the house is now that their bellies are full.  This of course sparked my thinking that I needed to dedicate a blog post about our sweet ones.  Oh the life of a cat….

“Look mom, I can roll into a ball and look like a basketball.  Just don’t try to bounce me though.”

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“Whatcha reading?”

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“Uh oh… the only place to go from here is out of the frying pan and into the fire…” Busted!

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“I’ll keep Raggedy Ann company mom, don’t worry.”

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“Come on…get out of there so we can play,” said the instigator.

“Nope… find someone your own age to torment” said the quiet one.

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“How sweet it is that my lap is so blessed” said mom.

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Mind dump…

I find that at the moment I am at a loss for words and find writing difficult.  It’s for no other reason than because I am in a whirlwind of thoughts.

1.  Our oldest is graduating!  The plans for graduation are slow yet in the process.  There is ALOT to do and so little time.

2.  So much to do before the graduation!  The yard, the garage and the house seem overwhelming at the moment and I’m not sure how helpful it is to have “mom” and “wife” sitting in a chair directing while “husband” and “kids” do all the work.  After all, I usually am the one tearing things apart and organizing.  My husband can usually count on a day of absolute insanity cleaning.  Rearranging an entire room, pulling everything out of the garage for cleaning, or cleaning out the basement and hosting a garage sale.  Not this year…. illness has not been our friend.  Oh my, how will it all get done…fairies?  Elves?

3.  Spring planting of the new “gardens”.  Yes, new and yes plural!  We have ripped out the fence of the garden I now fear and are considering plans for that area.  One garden tower has arrived yet it still needs the dirt and the worms and then the seeds to be planted.  The 10 pot hydroponics system has yet to come and prayerfully it will not until some of the chores are done and the other garden is up and growing.

4.  Treatment and doctor decisions.  I have taken another spiral downward after a short reprieve.  So, after 10 months of searching for the doctor who treated/cured one patient who I admire for their courage, I found him!  So, the question is whether or not we work from here on his protocol that he has written in a book I read in a day, or do I travel across the country to meet him in person.  In speaking to one of my two doctors, it has already been agreed upon that what his treatment plan is makes sense and although I have come close to addressing the issues he explains, we have not to the degree in which he would.  So, the call was made this morning and I await a call back to see how this may fit into my search for healing.

5.  Bees…. Oh the hive must be looked at and I must find the time.  Maybe Thursday… If they are getting ready to swarm then I still have time to order another batch of bees, if my queen is dead, then I still have time to order another one to take over.  If the drones are ready to succeed their queen with another, I should at least limit their choices.  I need to also join the Bee Keepers Club so that I can have a mentor… I really do not know what I am doing and last years hive production was very low with very little return.

6.  School is almost done…yet it is not yet complete.  There are still things that have to be accomplished and I need to reserve my energy to make sure the spring awareness of summers approach doesn’t distract.

Wow, that actually felt good to get out.  Kind of a mind dumping.  Sorry all of you had to be a part of it, however, I really and honestly have nothing else to write about.  Thanks for listening to me ramble.  It really did help.  😉

Reflection of a Week Passed

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Once again, I pulled myself out of the mire and squirmed in pain through church so that I would be touched by the Lords mercy.  To be reminded that He is almighty, strong, worthy, righteous and Holy.  Through His sovereignty, he guides me when I need Him the most.  The muzzle of His hand covers my mouth in times of persecution so that through quiet reflection He will be glorified and praised.

Psalm 119: 41-48 (ESV)

Waw

41 Let your steadfast love come to me, O Lord,
    your salvation according to your promise;
42 then shall I have an answer for him who taunts me,
    for I trust in your word.
43 And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth,
    for my hope is in your rules.
44 I will keep your law continually,
    forever and ever,
45 and I shall walk in a wide place,
    for I have sought your precepts.
46 I will also speak of your testimonies before kings
    and shall not be put to shame,
47 for I find my delight in your commandments,
    which I love.
48 I will lift up my hands toward your commandments, which I love,
    and I will meditate on your statutes.


Strength in the Lord, not the hair…

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Last week I mustered up the strength to go out and get my hair done.  We had a big weekend coming up with the kids between their Regional Finals and their Band Debut.  We were supposed to be out of town the entire weekend.  Now, with my health as it is, I have been avoiding crowds and avoiding all stress and activity.  Not just because I am unable to do very much as I am quite tired and have no strength, yet also because after this last acquired virus which put me and my family into a tail spin I decided getting sick with anything further just wasn’t something I needed nor wanted.  This weekend however, was going to be unavoidable.

On the Monday before the event I began asking questions about the Band Debut and ended up in charge of the Silent Auction and Raffle.  You may be asking yourself how I managed to do that.  Honestly, I’m not sure.  I’m sure the word “volunteer” came in to play at some point, yet I’m not exactly sure what words came out of my mouth that gave anyone the impression I was the “go to” girl for the job.  Not because I’m not capable of pointing out I could do it, I just don’t remember exactly what I said.  A memory issue I blame on my friends who also dwell in this body.  Well, I am organized enough in auctions as I have done enough of them, so it came together nicely and I wasn’t really stressed during the week leading up to the event.  That is, until I looked in the mirror and realized that I looked like death warmed over.  So, the hair appointment was made in hopes of making me look human again.

As I plopped into the chair awaiting the hairdresser to velcro the smock around my neck, I looked in the mirror and wondered if there was enough color to change the skunk look I had going on and if just a trim was going to be enough.  The hairdresser then asked the dreaded question of “So… how much are we going to cut off today”?  I have been growing out my hair for the last few years and the only cutting I’ve had done has been through a trim.   I could see the glean in her eye and the hope she had that I just may adopt a “Go ahead and cut it all off” attitude.  As I looked in the mirror at what I looked like, I asked her to just color it and to please get me a few books to ponder her question.

After looking through about 4 books with the hairdresser I asked her if she had many clients in their mid 40’s who had hair as long as mine.  She informed me that I was the only one.

I don’t usually cave in to pressure, yet this time I guess I was feeling a bit vulnerable and ended up allowing her to measure different lengths of cut.  I thought 6 inches was too much and she thought 4 was too little, so we decided on cutting 5 inches off.   I noticed as she cut that she had that cheshire cat grin on her face.  I asked her if she was happy to be cutting it and she admitted she’d waiting a year for my approval.  As I looked in the mirror at her work I acknowledged she was doing a great job and then I looked at the floor.  When I looked back up I asked her if any of her clients my age had ever sobbed in her chair over the loss of their locks.  She laughed and told me I would be the first and to go ahead.  Hmmmm…..

Let me just say, I did ponder it.  In the end I did not and was able to keep my composure.  I did however, begin thanking the Lord.  Thanking Him that He did NOT give me my strength in this life through my hair like he had Samson.  I kept thinking about the strength He has given me to get through much adversity.  So as the 5 inches of hair growth hit the floor, I thanked God first and then I thanked the hairdresser.  She did a great job, I walked out looking human and I was able to NOT embarrass my children at their weekend events.   Once again, the Lord granted grace to stay awake when I was most exhausted and He offered kindness through others who brought me chairs to sit in.  He also gave my husband patience as he drove back and forth from the hotel and the Regional Finals trying to get us a room so I could sleep and rest before the “Big Evening”.  After 1 week of looking in the mirror at the new hairdo, I still miss the length, yet I look like there is a glimpse of life and that alone makes all the drama worth while.

Where does your strength come from?

Mine comes from the Lord!  He gives me strength when my flesh is weak, and encourages me when there is despair.  In Him I find peace, hope and love.  Not just any peace, not just any hope and not just any love.  In Him there is glorifying peace, eternal hope and agape Love.

Psalm 28:7

7 The Lord is my strength and my shield;  in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;  my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Isaiah 40:29

29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.

 

 

Spring Vacation Where are You?

Oh it’s been a long winter!

With snow, cold weather, Lymes, co-infections, viruses and just plain old feeling physically like my body is not my own.  Where is our spring vacation?  I think this is the first year in as long as I can remember that we did not go to a warm destination.  So, that being said, I’m posting pictures of where my head wishes we were.  Maybe this will inspire spring…. maybe?

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I feel warm and refreshed already.  Do you?

 

 

Communication Oppression…

Finding myself having the conversation with several people this week about the Lyme debate and the controversy between doctors, I wondered whether or not anyone has thought about the fact that as a society we just don’t know how to communicate with one another any longer.  I mean, a patient is supposed to be the one who “hires” a doctor, not the other way around.  It seems that in the search for treatments for wellness, the patient treads onward from doctor to doctor looking for someone who will listen to their list of ailments in hopes that the doctor is actually listening and will be able to communicate back that they are concerned and will do everything they can to get to the bottom of the “cause”.    In more than one instance I can think of, between friends or others I’ve spoken to about Lyme, the story is always the same.  The doctor listens, gives feedback, lacks compassion, and ends up laying out the reasons why the ailments are not Lyme yet something else that needs more testing.  It’s an endless cycle.

Why?  I just don’t get it.  I mean, why can’t our medical community communicate with one another, discuss the issues their patients are having and work together for the common good of man to find a solution.   What happened that doctors now feel they have the upper hand and the patient is no longer the employer?  Maybe the question should be asked, since when did we as a society give up our own rights to our health and allow the medical community to be in the drivers seat?  I think that the doctors should be more like the GPS that guides and directs yet has no authority on which way we actually decide to turn.  They should work more to gain our trust in them and work harder to convince us we should continue paying them for their services.  Not the other way around.

Guess it’s just another random thought as my week winds down and I reflect upon recent conversations and the efforts we are all making to win this battle with the spirochete.

Amazing that in the 1960’s Paul Simon wrote the lyrics for Sound of Silence, a song about the disconnect in communication with people.  How people just don’t communicate freely due to the oppression of not hearing one another.    As he sings this song in 2009, I wonder what he was thinking as he looked out into the audience considering that those thousands of people were going to likely leave Madison Square Garden, sit around a table with 5 other people in silence while they texted others about the concert.

I pray for communication… amongst families, children, peers, friends and doctors.  I pray that our medical community will begin listening to their patients and really hear what their ailments are, and that they will care for them as their own loved ones.  Breaking down walls of silence and communication oppression.

Can I just add a funny:   When I was in college, one of our family friends had invited my mom and dad, myself and boyfriend at the time, to see “Neil Diamond”.  Now, this was something my parents had done before and I was always green with envy as I just loved Neil Diamond.  I was so excited to be included this time, I enthusiastically yelled “YES”… We are going!  Well, as the evening approached and excitement was heightened, my mom’s friend was discussing the impending evening to see “Paul Simon”.  Stop!  Wait!  WHO?  Oh no…. Oh yes!  Well, it was not the concert I had hoped for yet the memories of that evening have remained.  I think it was about 4 years later I finally got to see Neil Diamond… Yes the same friend obtained the tickets, this time however, I confirmed the name before agreeing!  🙂

Valentines Day

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I will admit that I have been a cynic.  I have for years wished everyone a “Happy Hallmark Valentines Day”.  You could say that I just chalked up the day as another way for some to make money and for others to be nice to their loved ones once a year.  In my mind, you should be nice to those you love every day of the year, not just one.  Well…I admit I was wrong.

I did some checking to see what the history of Valentines Day was and much to my surprise I learned that the day has actually been around since before the 14th Century.  Prior to the 14th century it was a day to celebrate the martyrs named Valentine.  In 1382 the first recorded writing of Valentines Day being associated with love was Chaucer’s poem written for the first anniversary of King Richard II and Anne of Bohemia’s engagement.  There is much controversy as to the exact date that Chaucer was referring to, however, it still remains to be the first recorded writing associating the two.

There you have it, I was wrong.  Knowing that Hallmark made it’s debut onto the greeting card scene in 1910, I’d say the celebration of love on February 14  has had it’s mark on history much longer and deserves at least to be recognized as a day of celebration.  I apologize to all those who have endured my cynical attitude toward the day in question, I promise to be more “loving” here on out on that “celebrated day of love”.

I know the day held great significance for my parents and they bestowed that upon my brother and I growing up.  I mean, it was like Halloween all over again with the candy hearts we woke up to.  My children used to get heart pancakes on Valentines Day when they were younger and my husband and I usually have exchanged cards and roses over the years.   So when did I become cynical?  I guess it happened when I realized that some people only used it as a day to be nice to those they otherwise would not be.  I saw the florists rake in the dough on flowers of guilt purchased by husbands who work long hard hours and remember at the last moment that the day is about love.  Wrong, yes!  Honest, yes!  Remorseful, yes!  So my friends far and near…

Happy Valentine’s Day!

And in recognition of Chaucer, here is a little piece of history (note that this is only a few lines of the poem that is actually around 700 lines):

The Parliament of Fowls

A garden saw I, full of blossomy boughs
Upon a river, in a green mead,
There as sweetness evermore enough is,
With flowers white, blue, yellow, and red,
And cold well-streams, nothing dead,
That swimming full of small fishes light,
With fins red and scales silver bright.

On every bough the birds heard I sing,
With voice of angels in their harmony;
Some busied themselves birds forth to bring;
The little coneys to here play did hie.
And further all about I could see
The dread filled roe, the buck, the hart and hind,
Squirrels, and beasts small of gentle kind.

Of instruments of strings in accord
Heard I so play a ravishing sweetness,
That God, that maker is of all and lord,
Had heard never better, as I guess.
Therewith a wind, scarcely it might be less,
Made in the leaves green a noise soft
Accordant to the fowls’ song aloft.

Th’air of that place so a-temperate was
That never was grievance of hot nor cold.
There wax also every wholesome spice and grass;
No man may there wax sick nor old;
Yet was there joy more a thousandfold
Than man can tell; never would it be night,
But always clear day to any man’s sight.