Category Archives: Why?

Lymes, memories

Strength in the Lord, not the hair…

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Last week I mustered up the strength to go out and get my hair done.  We had a big weekend coming up with the kids between their Regional Finals and their Band Debut.  We were supposed to be out of town the entire weekend.  Now, with my health as it is, I have been avoiding crowds and avoiding all stress and activity.  Not just because I am unable to do very much as I am quite tired and have no strength, yet also because after this last acquired virus which put me and my family into a tail spin I decided getting sick with anything further just wasn’t something I needed nor wanted.  This weekend however, was going to be unavoidable.

On the Monday before the event I began asking questions about the Band Debut and ended up in charge of the Silent Auction and Raffle.  You may be asking yourself how I managed to do that.  Honestly, I’m not sure.  I’m sure the word “volunteer” came in to play at some point, yet I’m not exactly sure what words came out of my mouth that gave anyone the impression I was the “go to” girl for the job.  Not because I’m not capable of pointing out I could do it, I just don’t remember exactly what I said.  A memory issue I blame on my friends who also dwell in this body.  Well, I am organized enough in auctions as I have done enough of them, so it came together nicely and I wasn’t really stressed during the week leading up to the event.  That is, until I looked in the mirror and realized that I looked like death warmed over.  So, the hair appointment was made in hopes of making me look human again.

As I plopped into the chair awaiting the hairdresser to velcro the smock around my neck, I looked in the mirror and wondered if there was enough color to change the skunk look I had going on and if just a trim was going to be enough.  The hairdresser then asked the dreaded question of “So… how much are we going to cut off today”?  I have been growing out my hair for the last few years and the only cutting I’ve had done has been through a trim.   I could see the glean in her eye and the hope she had that I just may adopt a “Go ahead and cut it all off” attitude.  As I looked in the mirror at what I looked like, I asked her to just color it and to please get me a few books to ponder her question.

After looking through about 4 books with the hairdresser I asked her if she had many clients in their mid 40’s who had hair as long as mine.  She informed me that I was the only one.

I don’t usually cave in to pressure, yet this time I guess I was feeling a bit vulnerable and ended up allowing her to measure different lengths of cut.  I thought 6 inches was too much and she thought 4 was too little, so we decided on cutting 5 inches off.   I noticed as she cut that she had that cheshire cat grin on her face.  I asked her if she was happy to be cutting it and she admitted she’d waiting a year for my approval.  As I looked in the mirror at her work I acknowledged she was doing a great job and then I looked at the floor.  When I looked back up I asked her if any of her clients my age had ever sobbed in her chair over the loss of their locks.  She laughed and told me I would be the first and to go ahead.  Hmmmm…..

Let me just say, I did ponder it.  In the end I did not and was able to keep my composure.  I did however, begin thanking the Lord.  Thanking Him that He did NOT give me my strength in this life through my hair like he had Samson.  I kept thinking about the strength He has given me to get through much adversity.  So as the 5 inches of hair growth hit the floor, I thanked God first and then I thanked the hairdresser.  She did a great job, I walked out looking human and I was able to NOT embarrass my children at their weekend events.   Once again, the Lord granted grace to stay awake when I was most exhausted and He offered kindness through others who brought me chairs to sit in.  He also gave my husband patience as he drove back and forth from the hotel and the Regional Finals trying to get us a room so I could sleep and rest before the “Big Evening”.  After 1 week of looking in the mirror at the new hairdo, I still miss the length, yet I look like there is a glimpse of life and that alone makes all the drama worth while.

Where does your strength come from?

Mine comes from the Lord!  He gives me strength when my flesh is weak, and encourages me when there is despair.  In Him I find peace, hope and love.  Not just any peace, not just any hope and not just any love.  In Him there is glorifying peace, eternal hope and agape Love.

Psalm 28:7

7 The Lord is my strength and my shield;  in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;  my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Isaiah 40:29

29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.

 

 

Lymes

Blooms of Spring Healing

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I have been asked many times over the last several months how I have been able to handle sitting in our house day after day waiting to feel normal.  People have admitted that they would have gone nuts or psychotic by now.   My response has been consistent in that I can only trust that the Lord has given me the strength, encouragement and ability to get through.  Oh, I’m not saying that it’s been a picnic.  There have been moments of self absorbed awareness that this could be my new life and I have complained in tears that I just want to feel good and have my life back.   The moments of self loathing are short lived and it never fails that a friend calls or stops by to check in and through laughter my emotional breakdown subsides and I am reminded that I’ve wasted healing energy feeling sorry for myself.

As spring comes upon us here in the midwest and the snow melts, I look up at the trees seeing what seems to be a sight of destruction in their limbs.  Unsightly bare twigs attached to trunks that almost look to be nimble and weak.  Even though they seem to be unhealthy and unstable in appearance, I know that as the ground thaws and the water begins to seep into their roots they will come alive with running sap and nourishment that will allow the limbs to bud with new blooms of leaves and flowers.  The birds will cradle their nests between the branches, laying their eggs and feeding their chicks.  The squirrels will  jump from branch to branch chasing one another in play.  The blooming of the leaves will shade certain areas of the yard, offering protection for spring plants that can only thrive in the shaded warmth of summer.  The once unsightly sign of cold winter days will disappear and the beauty of spring and summer colors will cover the landscape reminding me of God’s healing power.

This is the picture I have in my mind.  The picture I have hope in when I feel despair and this is how I see myself in the days yet to come.  I think of my illness as a season that will fade away into another season of life.  A season that will bloom with healing.  My body frail like the tree in fall and winter, waiting to bloom again with vibrance and agility in spring and summer. Rooted in the Spirit, Fed by the Word and thriving through the Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Jeremiah 17:7,8

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.  He is like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

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Jeremiah 17:14

“Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise. ”

 

Lymes, memories

Spring Vacation Where are You?

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Oh it’s been a long winter!

With snow, cold weather, Lymes, co-infections, viruses and just plain old feeling physically like my body is not my own.  Where is our spring vacation?  I think this is the first year in as long as I can remember that we did not go to a warm destination.  So, that being said, I’m posting pictures of where my head wishes we were.  Maybe this will inspire spring…. maybe?

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I feel warm and refreshed already.  Do you?

 

 

Menus / Recipes, Why?

Waffles & Leftovers

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When the kids were little, we had fun with breakfasts.  We had muffin Mondays, Twisted Tuesdays (which could be anything from omelette’s to yogurt), waffle Wednesdays, thankful Thursdays (again, either eggs or yogurt) and french toast Friday’s.  As years have gone by and they are getting older, we still don’t eat much cereal and eggs are usually the breakfast choice.  Unless of course, mom is having a good morning and we change it up a bit and make either muffins, crepes, or waffles.  This morning, I felt pretty good and was able to make my husband an omelette and the kids waffles.

As I served them up, our son announced that he really wasn’t looking forward to waffles as they “usually have no flavor and honestly just don’t taste good”.  This mornings however, were “delicious and were the best ever”.   When they asked me what I did different I told them that “I think it’s better you don’t know and then you’ll keep on enjoying them”.  Of course, that only made them really want to to know what was in them   so I informed them that the left over sweet potatoes they’ve avoided for two days were discretely placed in their “delicious” waffles.   Our son had already assumed there was a vegetable in there somewhere.  After all, when they were little I used to add things like carrots and zucchini to their muffins and either cut up prunes, dates, or apricots to their pancakes.  Who needs chocolate chips in pancakes when you have apricots?  🙂

Anyway, I thought I’d share the recipe for those of you looking for something really yummy and easy to make.

Waffles & Leftovers (this made 5 waffles)

In a blender add the following ingredients in the order given and blend until smooth:

8 farm fresh eggs

2 tsp. organic vanilla

1/2 C. raw honey,

2 tsp. organic apple cider vinegar

1 C. precooked organic yams or sweet potatoes

2 tsp. celtic sea salt

2 C. Organic Almond flour

2 tsp. baking soda

2 TBS. variety chopped presoaked, dried nuts

1 TBS. shredded organic coconut

Make sure you have a hot waffle iron that has been lightly oiled with either lard, grape seed oil or a coconut oil.  Pour your batter in the waffle iron, close and set timer for 3 minutes.  If you have a waffle iron that turns over, I usually pour in the batter, set the timer and turn over immediately, then turn it back when I have about 1 minute left.

What is wonderful is fresh or frozen cut up fruit to place on top of the waffles with a little butter.  Who needs syrup when you have fruit?  🙂

Lymes

Blind Faith

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How does one describe Faith…

For Christians, it’s something that is known, yet unknown.  Something that comes naturally and grows within.  In earlier times of history, faith was known through sight, today, it’s known through trust and through a contentment and calm that overwhelms the  heart, mind and soul.  A peace that is only understood by others that are like minded.

A few years ago life had pulled some unexpected punches our way and I found myself waking up each morning to beautiful sunrises in prayer, asking God for some sort of sign that would show me His path.  I asked for that which our Godly brothers and sisters of old had once observed.   We happened to be in a place where we could forget our “tales of woe”, even if for only a moment and try to focus on what was really important, when the name of a boat caught my eye.  This boat was pulled into the spot at the marina differently than the other boats.  It’s back was facing us and it was named Blind Faith.  At that moment, I knew overwhelmingly that our Heavenly Father was watching over our family.  He was going to pull us through all that we were enduring.  Many of our friends and family were dissatisfied and skeptical with choices that had to be made, yet for us, God’s will was securely upon our hearts and we followed His leading.  Many blessings have come from our following Him.  Should we have followed the advice of family or friends, we cannot at this time believe that it would have turned out better or that the blessings would have been as abundant.  God knew we would trust Him, with His sovereign Grace, He gave us a path to follow and a journey to which we are grateful.

As I write this, my health has been of even greater concern as we found some other issues that need addressing.  I have had many moments of feeling weary this past week.  As I pondered this Lords day, alone in my home while the family was away, I nearly stayed in bed and avoided worship.  However, my mind wandered to prayer and strength was grasped to get up and remember that this is not my day.  This is the Lord’s day.  He is the one to whom focus should be given.  To Him be the glory.

Once again, the Lord gave me the strength to endure and for a good reason.  The sermon was on Hebrews 11:1-19, focusing on Faith.  I continued to read all of Hebrews 11 and as I listened to the sermon, counted up how many times the word faith was used in Hebrews 11:1-40.  Twenty four times.  God’s chosen people who endured trials and tribulations of all sorts all had one thing in common, they had Faith.  As quoted…”By Faith”!

Realizing my uncertainty about my health is a natural human feeling, “by faith” I am encouraged.  Encouraged that God has a plan in this new journey He has our family on.  He will provide all that we need as long as we trust and have faith in Him.   Just as He is providing the support and continued help of our church family and friends, He will also use this time of affliction for His glory.  As I continue to tell others who are walking this Lyme journey with me, His Will Is His Outcome.

As Isaac Watts wrote in this Hymn in 1709:

I’m not ashamed to own my Lord, Or to defend his cause, Maintain the honor of his Word, The glory of his cross.  Jesus, my God; I know his name, His Name is all my trust; Nor will he put my soul to shame, Nor let my hope be lost.  Firm as his throne his promise stands, and he can well secure What I’ve committed to his hands Till the decisive hour.  Then will he own my worth-less name Before his Father’s face, And in the new Jerusalem Appoint my soul a place.  Amen

Faith, the binding hope and trust between humanity and an almighty righteous God.

Menus / Recipes, Why?

Coffee? Tea? What is that?

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I think that one of the hardest things to get over right now is the fact that I usually spend about 4 hours in the kitchen each day preparing all of our meals from scratch.  At the moment, and for the last 7 months that has not happened.  I am finding myself getting tired of the same things to eat each week.  My brother and sister in law used to say that their dinners were on a rotation with specific things on specific nights.  Well, they would be pleased to know that we are hitting a rotation menu.  Although, not by choice, and honestly, in our house we are all getting a bit bored.

This morning I almost didn’t even eat because I just did not want scrambled eggs… again!  ( I know… you’ve heard this before right?  Just a few days ago?)

So, out came the cookbook and creativity followed.  Almond flour Cheddar and herb muffins.  The kids and I really enjoyed them and honestly, they weren’t difficult to make.

What I did next however, made them look at me like I had 10 eyes.  In fact, my son exclaimed, “What, are you done with coffee now too?  Didn’t you have any?  You just made a whole pot!  What are you doing with all of those things.  That looks disgusting, and if I did that you’d tell me I was going to throw up.”  (Point made, point taken, now go get your school work done!)

I have been reading so much about Turmeric and it’s health benefits, along with it’s ability to help with inflammation and killing parasites etc.  My husband just sent me another article from the Wall Street Journal discussing Turmeric and colds.  Since I’ve been congested the last few days and have been feeling punk, I decided to come up with my own “tea” concoction.  It’s surprisingly good and amazingly healthy.  (By the way, I’ve been doing this for a few days now, I guess the child just hadn’t seen me actually make it.)  🙂

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What’s That? (per mug)

1 TBS Coconut Milk/Cream

1/8 tsp. Turmeric

1/8 tsp. Cinnamon

1/2 – 1 tsp.  Fresh grated Ginger

1 TBS Raw Honey (or a 1/4 dropper of Liquid Vanilla Stevia)

Hot water

Put all of the above in a mug, preferably in the order listed, stir and drink hot.

Yummm….

Why?

Breakfast and Ramblings…

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Disclaimer:  I wasn’t going to post this until my son encouraged me to as a social experiment for his study of Anthropolgy.  He is curious as to how much trouble I will be in with comments.

After 5 days of not eating dairy, limited beef, no sugar and of course limited gluten free carbs, you could say I needed something that would satisfy.  So, this morning our son once again made his famous “egg tortilla” and just the thought made me nauseous.  I am almost sick of eggs.  Almost…

I looked in the cupboard and decided that Quinoa hot cereal with fresh fruit sounded wonderful.  So, as I pulled out all of the things I wanted to add to it, I was reminded of the last time I added Hemp Hearts to my breakfast.  My son usually makes his jokes about moms “pot stash”.  Now, for those of you who know me, you know this has got to be a joke.  After all, most comments or nicknames I get are more along the lines of the “bible thumper”, “tree hugger”, or “prude”.   Where would he come up with such a joke?  Well, apparently he watched some documentary on an educational channel about Hemp Hearts and their usage in growing marijuana.  Who would have thought.  I mean, when I read about the health benefits of nuts and seeds I guess I assume you can safely buy them without a stigma attached.   Although, as I mentioned to one friend, I wonder if the Hemp Hearts will have the same medicinal benefit as smoking the plant, without the side affects.  NOT likely…

Can I just add… I understand medicinal usage for some, however, legalizing it?  Really?  Just goes to show you how influential Hollywood is.  I have teenagers that have enjoyed some of the zombi apocolypse movies and we laugh over the unrealistic characteristics of humanity.  Well, I now admit that it’s a very real possibility.  Unlike the recent statement that it’s no worse than alcohol, experts have declared that smoking up to 8 in a month actually can alter one’s DNA that will affect even their grandchildren.  I mean, think about it.  Legalizing it, creating a society that in 20 years will be reflective of human zombies walking around who collect entitlements because they are too stoned and lazy to work.  Then you throw in the push for healthy eating and minimally processed foods (which I agree with).  What does that have to do with the zombi apocolypse?  Have you ever heard of munchies?  Well, the way I figure it, there will be human zombies  with constant munchie syndrom looking for food not easily found to cure the crave, so just maybe they will start eating those of us who are the healthy , motivated go getters.  I mean, would they be able to recognize or conceive the wisdom to understand it’s the go getters that provide the funding for those entitlements?    Of course, if all the Lymies were to be eaten by the zombies then it would be like War of the Worlds and our spirochetes would kill them.   Ahhhhh, there is a plus to having Lymes.  I knew God would not disappoint and that there was purpose!  I don’t know, maybe I have too much time on my hands to think and watched too many movies in the last 6 months of “doing nothing”.

Sorry, just a rambling thought…. or maybe I am feeling the side affects… either way,  here was breakfast!

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Quinoa Flakes cooked as box directed, 2 TBS Coconut Milk, 2 TBS Hemp Hearts, 2 TBS Pumpkin seeds, 1 TBS coconut, dash of salt…. topped off with sliced banana, blueberries, and rasberries!

Yummmm!!!

(I have to admit, I had about 5 good hours of almost normal after eating it.  Hmmmmm.)

Why?

Contentment?

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Ordinarily I do not ride on the tails of others, however, I felt that this mornings devotional reading by C.H. Spurgeon was worth sharing.  How often do we flit here and flit there looking for things to make us happy?  Is the insanity of looking for contentment elsewhere a cost worthy investment when we are currently rich with possibilities?  When we are afflicted with uncontrollable and unforeseen circumstances, are we willing to sit back and accept God’s will for us at that moment in time?  Are we content?  If the answer is no, how do we find contentment in our time of great need?  It’s not through the ability of our own, it’s through the Lord Jesus Christ, our faith in Him and our trust in His sovereign grace that we can learn how to sow flowers of contentment.  From Morning and Evening Daily Reading by C.H. Spurgeon:

“I have learned, in whatever state I am, therewith to be content.”
Philippians 4:11

These words show us that contentment is not a natural propensity of man. “Ill weeds grow apace.” Covetousness, discontent, and murmuring are as natural to man as thorns are to the soil. We need not sow thistles and brambles; they come up naturally enough, because they are indigenous to earth: and so, we need not teach men to complain; they complain fast enough without any education. But the precious things of the earth must be cultivated. If we would have wheat, we must plough and sow; if we want flowers, there must be the garden, and all the gardener’s care. Now, contentment is one of the flowers of heaven, and if we would have it, it must be cultivated; it will not grow in us by nature; it is the new nature alone that can produce it, and even then we must be specially careful and watchful that we maintain and cultivate the grace which God has sown in us. Paul says, “I have learned … to be content;” as much as to say, he did not know how at one time. It cost him some pains to attain to the mystery of that great truth. No doubt he sometimes thought he had learned, and then broke down. And when at last he had attained unto it, and could say, “I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content,” he was an old, grey-headed man, upon the borders of the grave–a poor prisoner shut up in Nero’s dungeon at Rome. We might well be willing to endure Paul’s infirmities, and share the cold dungeon with him, if we too might by any means attain unto his good degree. Do not indulge the notion that you can be contented without learning, or learn without discipline. It is not a power that may be exercised naturally, but a science to be acquired gradually. We know this from experience. Brother, hush that murmur, natural though it be, and continue a diligent pupil in the College of Content.

On this sabbath day, my prayer is for all those afflicted with physical challenges and those afflicted with the challenges of life to look beyond their current disabilities and to seek sowing a field of contentment.  Even being shut up in a home because of ailments can bring out contentment if you look hard enough.  After all, we are warm, we have food, we have clean clothes and we are not sitting in a cold dungeon of persecution.   Be blessed in the education and discipline of learning contentment.

Menus / Recipes

Breakfast Anyone?

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With last week being a week of set backs, of epic proportions I might add. I felt good enough this morning to try to make my kiddos breakfast. Even though the doctor said to let the kids do all the prepping while I rest and for my only job to be the compilation of the meals, I guess you could say that I’ve hit my peak of feeling like a sluggard and was determined to help start their school day with a breakfast aroma that just shouted out “I love you guys”.

That being said, I slowly (doctors orders) looked through the fridge and pulled out all of the ingredients to make an egg frittata. Sydney and I watched one of the cooking shows make one on Saturday, so I thought I’d try it. Out came the leftover paleo hash that Gary made for me on Saturday, the eggs, green onions, black olives, frozen peas, butter, homemade pesto, cilantro and ricotta. Started on the stove and then placed in the oven, I’d say that for the 10 minutes worth of prep it was well worth it.

Thank you Lord for giving me the strength, desire and ability to still care for my family. I pray that all I do will honor and glorify you!

My Version of the Egg Frittata

Saute (in a large cast iron pan, this one made 8 slices that fit on a salad plate):
Leftover Paleo Hash, cut up green onion, black olives, frozen peas, in butter and a little grape seed oil

Mix 8 eggs, cilantro, salt and pepper, and add about 3/4 C. Milk

Pour over the sauteed vegetables. Let cook until starting to firm around edges. Then dollop the pesto and ricotta on top and place in the oven at 350 for about 20-30 minutes. Cut and serve hot.

Mmmmmmm!!!! Now I’m off to bed, my one activity for the day is done. 🙂

Our version of paleo hash:
turnips, beets, large white radish, onions cut up into small cubes and sauteed until soft. Yum!