decisions | Sherry's A Labour of Love

Prairie Dog: "Guess I should have quickly eaten it so that the bird wouldn't have had the opportunity to snatch it." Prairie Dog: "Thank you for sharing your lunch with me. I've been waiting for someone as nice as you to share." — Prairie Dog: “Guess I should have quickly eaten it so that the bird wouldn’t have had the opportunity to snatch it.”
Prairie Dog: “Thank you for sharing your lunch with me. I’ve been waiting for someone as nice as you to share.”

Regret: verb-feel sad, repentant, disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).

How many times in our lives do we use the word regret? Why?

Not to long ago I had a learning opportunity to speak with my children about that word. We discussed that regret should not be a word that they use in their lives. It’s one of those words that is like the word Hate. We should never hate anything. We may dislike something, yet we don’t hate something. Regret is much like that. It’s another strong verb used to describe something that is unrealistic. You’re likely asking me what I mean by that.

Well, I have said for years that using the word regret, only makes one then realize that if they regret one thing, they have to regret a whole lot of things. If you regret a decision you made that had disastrous consequences, then you have to regret a lot more things that went along with that decision and you also have to regret the lessons learned from those decisions. It’s like a gerbil wheel that keeps on spinning and never stops.

If you regret marrying someone, then you would also have to regret having children as well as those years spent with that family, likely calling them wasted. If you claim to regret that you didn’t get a higher education, then you also have to regret the path you then chose to take, even if it was a necessary decision to make you realize you needed that higher education. What about a decision made regarding health? Goodness knows that doctors, family and friends can all make us feel guilty about how we eat or how we take care of ourselves. Yet, when the time comes that our eyes are opened to better ways, if we regret the earlier path we would not be able to see how far we’ve come in progressing to a better place. Or even when it comes to some pretty serious medical decisions. Should chemo be the best option? Should alternative medicine be the best? What about those mammograms and preventative screenings? If and or when something changes with our health and we become seriously ill, what is the first thing many people say? “I regret not doing that….” Like I said, a strong verb that can only bring about more sadness than necessary. A word that contains a whole lot of disappointment and many times can be tied in with a whole lot of guilt.

I remember some years back when my mom and I had discussions regarding some decisions I had personally made in my own life. I was young enough to be under the roof of my parents yet old enough to be considered an adult. My mom said she had regretted allowing me to do this or that and that she felt guilty over not guiding me in a different direction. I remember thinking about that and also saying that I didn’t regret it and that she shouldn’t either. That the decisions I made, no matter the outcome, were learning lessons in my own life. I needed to go through those things in order to become the woman I am today. If I had not learned through that school of hard knox, I’m not sure who I would be now nor where I would be. I’m not saying that it’s not sad that I made some wrong decisions, yet those wrong decisions led to an understanding about how I needed to grow. They helped me to see who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go.

I’ve used a lot of “I’s” in that last paragraph, of which is normal when speaking of one’s self. However, it is with great joy that one of those lessons learned was that “I” was not in control of any of it. Something greater was awakening within me of which I was not even aware until a few years later. A generic definition of sanctification is “the state of proper functioning”. To sanctify someone or something is to set that person or thing apart for the use intended by its designer. (BibleStudytool.com) When God opened my eyes and began to show me who He is, I also began to realize that I could not have gotten to a place of peace and understanding in Him until I had gone through the things that most people want to call “regret”.

There are so many blessings that have come out of my personal walk on this journey in this life. All of which I can honestly say came from “lessons”, not regret.

You may be asking yourself where in the world am I going with this and why blog about this. Well, to explain, the last week I’ve intermittently been listening to a documentary on the truth about cancer. I have watched many in heartache over their own “regret” in lack of knowledge. It has made me consider how many people go through their days regretting how they live, what they say and what decisions they make. Sorrow overtakes them and they forget that each decision or action or word spoken that makes them have that regret has actually led them to a place of recognition. So I felt that I needed to share with others that rather than letting sorrow or disappointment over take you and your future, pray about what you have learned and ask for guidance in going forward.

Don’t waste your energy and time in regret or spend time in bitterness over disappointment, be grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow. Perhaps, this recognition of the past is the beginning of a new journey going forward. Perhaps also, a door has been opened to see something new and to learn new tools in dealing with situations going forth.

Isaiah 35

The Ransomed Shall Return

The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad;
the desert shall rejoice and blossom like the crocus;
it shall blossom abundantly
and rejoice with joy and singing.
The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it,
the majesty of Carmel and Sharon.
They shall see the glory of the LORD,
the majesty of our God.

Strengthen the weak hands,
and make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who have an anxious heart,
“Be strong; fear not!
Behold, your God
will come with vengeance,
with the recompense of God.
He will come and save you.”

Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,
and the ears of the deaf unstopped;
then shall the lame man leap like a deer,
and the tongue of the mute sing for joy.
For waters break forth in the wilderness,
and streams in the desert;
the burning sand shall become a pool,
and the thirsty ground springs of water;
in the haunt of jackals, where they lie down,
the grass shall become reeds and rushes.

And a highway shall be there,
and it shall be called the Way of Holiness;
the unclean shall not pass over it.
It shall belong to those who walk on the way;
even if they are fools, they shall not go astray.a
No lion shall be there,
nor shall any ravenous beast come up on it;
they shall not be found there,
but the redeemed shall walk there.
And the ransomed of the LORD shall return
and come to Zion with singing;
everlasting joy shall be upon their heads;
they shall obtain gladness and joy,
and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

Over the past year and a half, I’ve used my blog as a tool to express my thoughts, my recipes, my frustrations etc. It was an avenue to express myself and to have communication with others when I otherwise felt alone and secluded. I have met many other wonderful bloggers who have since become my friends. Two of those delightful friends had recently inquired about my blogging as it seems I have nearly fallen off the “grid”. My posts have become less in frequency and not quite full of “heart”. My excuse, if there is one, is that I have been pondering a great amount lately. Much of which I have chosen to keep unwaveringly close to the breast so to speak. I have not felt inspired, nor have I felt that I had anything worth contributing. That is until today….

Much of what has been on my mind has been about parenting, being a wife, a daughter and a friend and being a woman of God. Am I doing a good job? Am I standing up for what we as a Christian family believe in? Am I acting as a worthy steward and servant that gives glory to our Father? Am I all that I need to be? As I ponder all of these questions and consider how to put into words my thoughts, I glanced up at my husbands book shelf and see a book called Decisions, Decisions by Dave Swavely. That’s it! For the past few months I have been considering not all of the above, but “decisions”. Decisions based on every area of my life and in every aspect of every relationship I have. Decisions that always have an outcome and a consequence. Decisions that affect everything and anyone in the path of their being made. That being said, my mind swirled with inspiration and I feel like I have something to contribute.

I have always told my children two things, delivery will get you every time and make sure that whatever you do in life you are an upright moral human being serving God first and doing the best you can at whatever it is you do. Doing that will ensure your success in a world that has become immune to insanity, adultery, murder, idol worship, acceptance, and sin. Knowing what it says in 1 John 2:15-17 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

As I look around at my own personal relationships, whether it be with my children, my spouse, my parents, friends and neighbors, I realize that even the smallest decision I make in those relationships can have an impact in the future. That impact can either play out in a positive way or in a negative way. It all depends upon how and I why I make certain decisions to begin with. Was I making the decision based on self gratification? Was I making the decision based on guilt? Was I making a decision on resentment or out of anger? Was I making a decision that was for someone else? And finally, what was it that provoked a decision to be made and how did I come to that decision? What avenue did I seek out in making that decision? Did I consult with others? Did I have a knee jerk reaction and make a decision based on an incident without knowing all the facts? Did I take it to the One that called me out of this world to serve? Did I pray about it and seek out His counsel? So many things to consider when making a decision. I wonder how many people actually consider their decision making and the outcomes that may follow based on their reasoning for their decisions.

For me, I ponder my own decisions in this life and to a fault I have also pondered decisions that others have made for the themselves. That is what troubles my inner being and something that I am delighted to report I have been praying over. Decisions that seem so small can have a large impact in the end, with some very disturbing consequences. As I began reading the aforementioned book above, the author wrote If you are a believer in Christ, the resulting effects in your life should not be your only motivation, or even your primary one, to make good decisions. Taking 2 Corinthians 5:6-10 into account about the judgment that holds us accountable in decisions we make. So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. The apostle Paul does not only speak to the Corinthians, he speaks also to us. He reminds us that our salvation came at a price and that although we are saved by grace, we are also judged according to our behavior and the decisions we make. A consideration that worldly viewpoints overlook. Although, we as Christians understand that God has not revealed His truth to those who are held captive to their blindness. To no fault of their own, their decisions that are decapitating to self are inevitable.

What about a Christian who claims himself saved and is trying to follow God? Sometimes it is the shame of our churches and leadership that they are not guiding their flocks in the truth of the gospel. With all of the “extras” to get numbers in the door, they fail to teach the word as it is written. Adding in man made “traditions” and “additions” to aspire to others that “Christ loves everyone”. I have been one of those Christians. I have walked in those shoes. I have through the grace of God been pulled out of heresy and been shown that only God’s Word stands true. The Bible is more than just a book to read on Sunday, it is the creators instruction book to an everlasting life. Not to be changed to suit a sermon, nor added to or taken away to fulfill numbers. It is a way of life that needs to be taken seriously.

It is with great hope and prayer that if you have chosen to read to the end, that you will consider, as I have, all of the decisions you make in your life. That you will consider prayer first, asking God for guidance and trusting in Him to have a better plan than the one you may think you need. Keeping with the Spirit, seeking out what scripture says on the matter and realizing the truth behind decision making. Asking the why and taking into consideration how.

Proverbs 31:10-31