Checking In
It’s been awhile since I check in. I have a very good reason. On January 1, my birthday, I received the most delightful wakeup call from my grandmother. She called to wish me a happy birthday and we had the most wonderful conversation. Later that afternoon, I received a call from a family member that my dear sweet 94 year old grandmother had been taken to the ER with a brain bleed. She was living in FL and myself living 5 states away, I could not get to her that day as all flights were done and so on January 2nd, I flew down to be with her. On January 5th she passed on to be with the Lord. I did not return home until the 12th, as there was a great deal to do, as you could imagine.
I do not think that I could have endured the trip, caring for her those 5 days, the hospital environment (with 2 cases of MRSA on the same floor just a few rooms away), the emotional stress of losing a dear loved one whom I was extremely close to, and then the planning a small memorial breakfast and caring for her home and all of her little treasures without having been on the Disulfiram. The fact I did not get sick or come home and completely collapse is due to two things: God’s providential care and shielding over me, and my LLMD who prescribed me this protocol using the Disulfiram. I am absolutely certain that God’s timing is ever so perfect.
On January 6th I was scheduled to begin my 1/2 of a 250 mg pill of the disulfiram daily, and I did not falter on that. I continued on with my treatment. On February 3rd I began the 3/4 of a 250 mg pill M-W-F while taking 1/2 T-Th-S-S. Thus I am on my second week of this regiment. I have noticed:
- The pain in my right ankle is quite obviously much stronger. I have a difficult time walking around first thing in the morning and at the end of the day. In fact the pain at the end of a day is so excruciating that I cannot get comfortable and am unable to get the pain to subside. Going to bed is my only saving grace.
- Ok, so TMI….The body odor smell that everyone talks about on the blogs is very real. I’ve hit that stage and it’s making me crazy. Two showers a day sometimes is not enough. It smells like metal. Especially when detoxing.
- I was, I thought, done with my monthly cycle as it has been for the last two years only showing itself at 4-6 month intervals. Well, I had gone seven months and thought I was past it. Nope! One last hurrah? Not sure. I’m blaming the Disulfiram.
- I’ve been able to tolerate eating some fish occasionally. I’m very happy about that.
- I am tired and find myself taking more breaks from “life” just to rest. Yet, I am also more motivated to get things done. I’ve been cleaning like never before. I know, sounds crazy to feel both. I think that the energy I have to get things done and the motivation takes me just so far and then my body is saying “ok, break time”.
This Lyme journey has carried me through so many locations of emotions. I have felt near death, I have felt sadness and darkness along with loneliness and I have also felt overjoyed and praise filled. My thinking is every so clear nowadays and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to share with others this journey. I hope that one day, someone will be able to follow with hope after seeing that healing is possible.
My grandma used to wear my Lyme bracelet in recognition of Lyme disease. I was delighted to find it in her drawer after she passed. She was so happy that I was feeling better over the last few years. I’m glad that I was able to be there for her in the end of her sweet life and that she supported me with unconditional love throughout my journey of life. She is very missed and I am slowly working past my grief.
