Tag Archives: Lyme disease

Following in Faith, Lymes, Why?

Reflection and Progression

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Picture taken from Omnibus III
Picture taken from Omnibus III

Romans 8:25
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. 

Sitting in a chair facing my friend, who sits reclined back comfortably in her recliner we discuss our new book and what a wonderful author John Bunyan is.  His incredible allegory of the walk of a Christian in Pilgrims Progress. We usually meet once a week at her home (she is completely home bound and unable to do anything for herself anymore) and read a chapter or two of a book.  This week, we began a new book and because we both were enjoying it so much, decided to throw in a second day.  Our visits over the last 6 months have been pretty much the same, we visit first, her husband sweetly confirms she is comfortable and as he exits to his “man cave” office, she and I share a little more of our week and I begin to read.

As we began our new book, we were thrown a curve ball.  I began reading and when I finished page 16, I began reading what I thought was page 17 only to realize that the story didn’t make any sense at all.  I looked up to see that the page after 16 was actually page 23. Now, keep in mind that I cannot read on my own without having to read one page several times due to my Lymes and my friend cannot read at all and depending upon the day may have issues with processing information due to her corticobasil degeneration.  That being said, you can just imagine my dismay to find that in a neatly hardbound book there were no pages ripped out and yet pages 17-22 were missing.  We both sat there laughing not quite sure what to do.  We quickly realized that our time together that day may be cut short by a error in the binding of the book.

Upon further investigation, I found the rest of the pages… 10 pages further into the book.  So, as if it isn’t funny enough that we are reading Pilgrims Progress together, both of us having cognitive issues and both of us being more tired in the afternoon, I now was challenged with reading from right to left rather than left to right and my friend had to endure me stopping at critical parts of the story just to find my place.  Honestly, I kept thinking it would have made for a great home video recording.

Well, as it is with my memory these days, I completely forgot this when I went over to read to her the second day.  So of course, I began reading where I left off and of course ended up reading some of what we had already read earlier in the week amongst the new pages of the story.  Once again, we had to laugh and I had to regroup and figure out where my next pages were.  Were they 10 pages forward or 2 pages back.

Having Lyme makes life so interesting!  Seriously, I can relate to the frustration that was felt in the movie Still Alice… I am physically so much better than last year that I am not complaining at all.  Last year at this time I could not walk up a flight of steps without nearly passing out and I could not do anything for myself except maybe a shower, and that was not daily as I just didn’t have the energy for it.  I was in constant pain, my exhaustion was unexplainable and my energy level was at best good for only about an hour.  By mid afternoon my brain was so foggy that I could not process information, I was unable to drive as I forgot where I was going and when I drove I completely blanked out and couldn’t remember I had driven at all.  To go anywhere that needed walking I had to use a wheelchair.

After 10 months I had serious doubts I’d recover from this illness. You can imagine my my excitement when I found the doctor and protocol I had been looking for since being first diagnosed.  So in early May, my Integrative doctor agreed to let me try the protocol of the other doctor I found and by June I was going to the Highland games with the family and the wheelchair stayed in the garage.  I’m not saying it didn’t need to be brought out from time to time, but overall I was seeing improvements.  By July I was able to make an 8 hour drive to our cottage alone with my daughter and by September I was driving to CA with the kids.  The pain subsided within that first month and slowly my energy level began to increase.  The brain fog has also improved, unless of course I am extremely tired and have not slept well.  Learning my limitations, keeping track of my symptoms and making adjustments with my meds has been such a help.  Having two doctors who look beyond, listen to me with all ears and keep an open mind to the research I also do has been a blessing.

Your likely wondering why I went from reading Pilgrims Progress to my health.  Well, as we read on Thursday, I couldn’t help but to think about the characters in the story, what they stood for and how even though the book was first published in 1678, the allegory is so powerful for us today.  No wonder it is the second most widely published book in world to this day, second only to the Bible.  Although I enjoyed the book a few years ago when the kids and I read it together and studied it, I think after the last year I am enjoying it even more.

On Thursday we read about Christian meeting the Interpreter and what he finds in the Palace prior to going any further on his journey.  Within the Palace there are a number of rooms.  One of the rooms was rather small and introduced were two children, Passion and Patience.  The characteristics of the two were such:

Passion was seen as being discontent; wanting of all things now, and at that moment Patience was quiet; willing to wait for that which is yet to come

In the story, the Interpreter explains:   “These two lads are Figures; Passion of the men of this World, and Patience of the men of That which is to come:  For as here thou seest, Passion will have all now, this year; that is to say, in this world;  so are the men of this world:  they must have all their good things now, they cannot stay till next year, that is, until the next World, for their portion of good.  That proverb, A Bird in the Hand is worth two in the Bush, is of more authority with them, than are all the Divine testimonies of the Good of the World to come.  But as thou sawest, that he had quickly lavished all away, and had presently left him nothing but rags; so will it be with all such men at the End of this world.  

Christian replies:  Now I see that Patience has the best Wisdom, and that upon many accounts.  1.  Because he stays  for the best things.  2.  And also because he will have the Glory of his, when the other has nothing but rags.

Interpreter:  Nay, you may add another, to wit, the Glory of the next World will never wear out; but these are suddenly gone.  Therefore Passion had not so much reason to laugh at Patience, because he had his good things first, as Patience will have to laugh at Passion, because he had his best things last; for first must give place to last, because last must have its time to come; but last gives place to nothing; for there is not another to succeed:  He therefore that hath his portion first, must needs have a Time to spend it; but he that has his portion last, must have it lastingly:  Therefore it is said of Dives, In thy Lifetime thou receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things; but now he is comforted, and thou are tormented.

Christian:  Then I perceive it is not best to covet things that are now, but to wait for things to come.  

And in conclusion, I want to end with the beginning of what Interpreter has to say next:  “You say truth:  For the things that are seen are Temporal; but the things that are not seen are Eternal:  

I have to admit that last year when I was diagnosed, I wanted my body to heal and for my life to go back as it used to be.  I wanted to go back to being the super mom who could get up in the morning, make breakfast, school the kids, drive them around town for their activities, pull weeds out of the garden, help my friends paint their houses, stop for groceries and spend long hours in the kitchen preparing dinners for my family, all in one day.  I wanted to be able to plan out events for the homeschool community or prepare classes as I once had in our co-op classes.  I wanted to be organized without losing things.  I wanted healing at that moment.  I tried to be patient, and I even prayed that the Lord use my illness for His good will.  Yet internally, my mind wanted desperately to have my life back.

In reading the above exchange between Christian and Interpreter, I was seeing myself as being like that of Passion.  Although my heart longs to be more like Patience, I know that my human nature as a sinner is more like that of Passion.  As the months drew on and  now another year, I am learning more and more the importance of the lessons of Patience.  The story has resonated in my mind ever since our reading on Thursday and I know it’s through the Providence of God that He continues to teach this weary being of lessons He needs for me to learn, sanctifying me so that perfection may still yet be seen.

If I had received the blessing of quick healing, would I have followed the leading of my heart to go see my friend who was already home bound?  Would I have understood what it was like for those who have no or limited social interaction with others?  Would I be reading Pilgrims Progress with a friend who needs to be reminded of the eternal blessings yet to come?  Would I have understood that I truly had sisters that took time out of their days to help me cope in my own loneliness?

Honestly, I think not.  If God had allowed me to follow my own way, just as Passion, then I am quite certain my short lived illness would have been placed in a box on a shelf where dust would settle only to be forgotten.  I would have gone on with my days wanting to be something more and someone more than I am meant to be.  I would have likely filled my days with things that have no real meaning other than for self.  My friend would still be sitting in her recliner, yet I would have missed the blessings of seeing her smile, her sense of humor with her husband and our wonderful discussions that come out of our readings.  I would have missed an opportunity to serve another who was and is desperate for her own healing and for understanding as to why her life has taken the turn it has.

As I continue to read through Pilgrims Progress I look forward to seeing what the Lord once again has to show me.  I hope that as you read this post, you too may consider reading along with us.  I promise, you will not be disappointed.

Luke 8:15
As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.

 

Following in Faith

A Little Perspective

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Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.   2Corinthians 1:3-4

In studying JOB, I have come to understand more clearly the value of trusting God, His Word, and His mercies that are offered to His flock.  Calling out to him over the last year, whether my day was filled with pain or exhaustion, I admittedly had moments where I complained over my circumstances, yet I also knew and had faith that God had a plan.  I was comforted in knowing that He would utilize my situation to His glory and that nothing I go through in this world is too great when I have Him by my side.

I have a picture with a beautiful poem about the Lord carrying us in our times of trouble and the picture has one set of footprints walking in the sand.  Although I enjoy the concept of Him carrying us through this life, I think I would rather consider Him as a partner walking beside me like a seeing eye “friend”.  Pointing out obstacles, directing my footsteps, guiding me down the path of life leading to His narrow gate.  Nurturing me along the journey so that in the end He will be glorified.

One of our questions in our study asked whether we have ever encountered God in a way that transformed our understanding of or attitude toward Him?  We were then asked to share the experience and tell how our view of God was changed.

My answer was yes and I went on to explain.  Our move to our current location was not an easy transition.  We moved to a state that we had never stepped into, knowing absolutely no one, and to top it off it was in the winter.  We lived in a two bedroom apartment for two months while we sought out our current home.  The kids had school and were making friends, my husband had work and new relationships to nurture while I had a realtor once a week.  My days were very lonely.

I had left behind a volunteer position at the kids school that kept me working every day as the school librarian, room mom for one class, a bible study that I had been a part of for 10 years, childhood friends, college friends, family and ladies that I had befriended after our third move.  My involvement with our church included VBS, women’s ministry, fundraisers and the meal delivery service for our brothers and sisters within the church that I was in charge of.   I  was running with kids to Karate classes two days a week, baseball three days a week, dance classes 3 days a week, boy scouts  and brownies every other week and our weekends were spent at a cottage.   To say that I was busy is an understatement.  In fact, one of my friends gave me a mug for my birthday that said, “Note to self:  Stop volunteering for stuff”.

In my loneliness, I found that going to the Lord was giving me encouragement.  In my times of human weakness, however, I sought out to find purpose for myself in our new town.  I thought I needed to be a part of something, other than just looking for a house for the family.  So after a month of spending one day a week cleaning the apartment, grocery shopping and doing laundry, another day going out with the realtor, and the rest of my week spent sitting alone reading the word of God, I went in to our new church and requested a list of activities and groups that our family could be a part of.  I distinctly remember breaking down in tears in front of the secretaries.  Not sure what else to do, they presented me with a list of people to call and activities that may interest us.

One by one we reached out, seeking out purpose, more for myself than the rest of the family.  After all, they were meeting people and making friends.  I was the one who was trying to find my niche.  Each time we reached out, we hit a dead end.  Either the groups were full or after receiving information we decided that the group was not what we were interested in.  Once again, I remember finding myself in tears.  As our second month approached, we had found our house and we were waiting for it to be completed as it had been a new construction.  One more day would be added to my loneliness as I no longer had my day with the realtor.  Another moment of tears.  I remember asking God why and I also remember complaining.

One day, as I was reading His word, I was struck by the time I had to be with Him.  I’m not sure exactly what took place, however, I felt this peace that I had not known since our move.  I came to the realization that prior to our move, my time with Lord was when I could fit Him in, between projects and activities.   I scheduled my time with Him based on what worked for me.  In the two months of being in the apartment I realized that all I had was time to spend with Him.  He had become my best friend, my caretaker, and my encourager.  He was walking beside me and was giving me comfort in my times of loneliness.  I was not alone, I just didn’t have perspective.

I remember thanking Him for all that He was doing for me and my family.  For giving us all that we needed.  Even though we were in a two bedroom apartment and ate dinners at a table in the living room by the couch.  We all have said that they were the best two months we’ve ever had as a family.   As a family, we grew closer, enjoying our time together since we didn’t have any extra curricular activities vying for our time.

I would say that during that time I encountered God as I had not known him before.  The focus in my years prior to our move were spent trying to do all the good in the world, doing all that I could for my family and for others.  I spent time with him when He fit into my schedule, praying while I was driving and in my quiet time upon waking and before bed.   After our move, I had refocused my attention, turning my daily schedule into a time of continued worship of Him.  To my pleasant surprise, my Heavenly Father was there waiting for me and He met with me giving me peace, understanding and perspective.  He didn’t ask me to wait until He had time in His schedule, He was ready and willing to offer mercy, grace, and love when I needed it the most.

Rather than seeing Him as a Holy God who was too busy to notice whether or not I took time out for Him, I realized He was a Holy God who is a jealous God that needed me to take that next step in knowing Him.  I was transformed!  I don’t mean that I became a christian at that point, I knew I was a christian and had been for many years.  I was however, growing in my knowledge of Him and who He truly was.  Humbled by His time with me and my recognition of His Almighty character, I prayed that He would lead me and open doors when He was ready for me to once again serve outside of the home.  I said that prayer in church one night and at the end of the service a woman approached me asking me to be a part of a prayer group.  Timing was everything.  Once again, I thanked Him, knowing that all He wanted me to trust in Him and His plan for my life.   Each experience I have endured since the Lord called me by name has helped me to grow closer to Him and has given me new perspective.

In watching Bethany Hamilton in Soul Surfer recently with my daughter, I am reminded that sometimes we need to be in a different place, focusing on something other than ourselves to gain perspective.  Not unlike what God did with JOB.  JOB had his own thoughts and considerations in defending himself pridefully with his friends, yet it took God’s audience with JOB to show him a new perspective that included who he was in comparison to who God was.   Isn’t that so like the life of a christian?  When we stray from the herd, our shepherd uses His staff to to gently remind us of our place in the flock.

I challenge you reader to look at your current affliction and look for opportunities to give you a new perspective.  Preferably, allowing God to be a part of that process.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.  For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.  2Corinthians 4:7-11

 

Following in Faith, Why?

Rejected or Rejoicing?

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Wearily pulling myself out of self loathing yesterday, I had the opportunity to visit with a friend whom is no longer able to walk and is finishing out her young life knowing that she is fading away into the arms of her savior.  I was so blessed and refreshed by the visit, that I had to ask God’s forgiveness for the moments prior to our time together.   After all, I  had been questioning what good was going to come of such a visit when I was so tired from battling my pneumonia for the last 3 weeks.  I did not feel like smiling, I just wanted to sleep and rest in the comfort of my living room.  Venturing out into the cold was not appealing, even though I had an errand I had to run prior to the visit.  I pondered forgoing the errand and the visit.   It’s amazing how God uses times like those to touch our inner being, reminding us that there is so much to do and so little time for the joy of the Lord to be shared with others.  I came home physically tired, yet spiritually uplifted.   My original intention of visiting my friend was because I thought I was going to bless her, yet, God blessed me instead with a sustainable energy that kept me going for the rest of the night and He reminded me of the grace of humility.

There is no place for self loathing or a self serving attitude for Christians who know Him.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.  You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you , declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.”      Jeremiah 29:11-14

For the last year, life has had it’s ups and downs with my diagnosis of Lyme Disease.  The loneliness of having a physical disability is only known by those who are also afflicted with such circumstances.  For this reason, I was determined that when I felt better, I was going to start weekly visits with my friend whom I had neglected prior to my own illness.   I remember having the need to visit her, however, I am embarrassed to admit that time was filled with so many other things to do that I never made the time.  I was just too busy, plain and simple.  Isn’t that so like our society today?  We spend so much time doing so many great things that have such little value.  Yet the things that mean so much, we brush aside thinking they are not of great significance.

I challenge you reader to consider your own life and ask yourself this question, “What have I done today that was not for my own gratification?”  If you ask yourself that question and find that you cannot come up with one thing, I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and give it a try.  If you are only doing for others so that you will benefit, you have not challenged yourself enough.  Try taking time out of your day to do something for someone that will not have anything to do with benefiting yourself.   Let me explain.  If you partake on a mercy mission for someone else, make sure you are not thinking that it’s for your own benefit or self glorification that you are doing it.   True acts of kindness, love and humility do not come from knowledge, they come from the heart.  Outpouring unconditionally!

Last year there were several wonderful friends who took time out of their days to sit with me or write to me.  The fact that they thought of me and prayed for me was enough, but these women actually took the time out of their busy lives to let me know.  Unconditionally!  From guilt free quilting to those friday pizza nights where I would otherwise have sat here alone.  From e-cards of inspiration to the hand written notes mailed through the post, I was blessed by the giving of their time.  I can only hope that they too felt blessed by the love they shared with this lonely Christian in her time of need for fellowship.

My friend and I sat together yesterday and began reading a book.  Although my friend can no longer read and I am actually doing the reading, our discussions during and afterward were wonderful.  We began the first week with the first two chapters of the book and studying Psalm 13.

How long, O LORD?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?  How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?  

Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep and the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.  I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.   Psalm 13

We both discussed how blessed we are knowing that we had the fellowship with one another, and the fellowship of the Lord Jesus Christ.  David, in writing this psalm, felt alone and abandoned by God, yet he trusted in His love.  He knew God was there or he would not have called out to him to begin with, but he cried out for the reassurance.   He just longed for the fellowship and comfort of the Lord to help with the loneliness  that was overtaking his physical being.  Is this any different than how we feel when we are going through trials?  As Christians we know God is ever present and we can trust in His love, yet we long for that physical fellowship.  It’s in our human nature to have that need, and yet, so many are left in their lonely state.

In both of my studies this week, the same question came up, “Why is it so important to establish a right view of God before adversity hits?”  (CBS JOB commentary)   Both my friend and I agree that in our circumstances we could not get through all that humanity and disease throws at us if we did not have trust in the Lord and trust in salvation.  In saying that, it does not mean we will not have tears and that we will not be discouraged at our current situation.  Just as David was discouraged, he still trusted in “steadfast love” which in turn allowed him to “rejoice in salvation”.   Rejoice…

Rejoicing in the everlasting love of a creator who has chosen us to be a part of his kingdom.  Rejoicing in his blessings of family and fellowship with other like minded brothers and sisters who will share in an eternal life.  Rejoicing in the blessing of vision to see that our sorrows are short lived in this world.  Rejoicing that Jesus Christ took upon himself the sins of mankind to save.  Rejoicing in the Hope and Faith of healing and God’s everlasting care in our lives on this earth.  Rejoicing in knowing Him!

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.  For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, “The righteous shall live by faith.”    Romans 1:16-17

 

Following in Faith

Joy Through Affliction

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Can I somehow relay to anyone through my words how much rejoicing has been going on in my heart the last few months and especially yesterday?  I mean, even though my Lyme symptoms have returned, my joy in Him has not subsided.

Psalm 4:7   You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound.

Psalm 71:23  My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed.

My husband and I have been married for 21 years next month.  During that time we have had many trials, heart aches, and afflictions overwhelm our relationship.  Through every timely attack, we have managed to cling to one another.  Oh, it’s not always been easy, and for the first 12 years it was especially tough in our home.  I remember my early walk with the Lord, knowing and understanding fully who He was, as being a lonely venture.  Lonely in that God’s timing for my husband was not in sync with His timing with me.  I prayed for those twelve years that God would change my husbands heart, that He would show my husband His Word and Grace so that we could grow together.  At times, God likely heard my prayers to be more like begging.  Pleading for the release of my husbands hardened heart so that he would hear God’s calling and crave to know the truth as I was learning it.  Let’s just clearly say, it was a long 12 years and the support from others to continue on was at times quite at odds with scripture and felt more like worldly advice  attacks.

At the bible study I attended weekly during that time, an older, wiser Titus 2 woman who was in our leaders group reminded all of us through a devotional that sometimes we need to release our wants and desires and give it up to the Lord, for as we know all things are in His timing.  That our will was not always His will and that we needed to trust Him.

Wow!  Wait… hold the presses… I knew that!  Yet my daily prayer for 12 consistent years had been pleading my will upon the Lord’s heartstrings.  I was begging for something rather than trusting and praying for God’s will to be done in my husbands life.  Why had I not asked God for my own patience?  Why had I not prayed for acceptance of where God had my husband at that time?  I remember beating myself up about my own prayers and how selfish they were.  I wasn’t trusting God to just do as He needed.  It was that day that I went home and got on my knees and asked for God’s forgiveness in not trusting Him.  I repented for my lack of patience and asked God to give me strength to wait upon Him and His timing for my husband…. If that is what the Lord intended.  I did not know if my husband would ever accept Christ nor if God would ever even call upon my husband to be one of His flock.  I just knew that I needed to trust the plan God had for us and to stay true to Him and all that He is.

Two weeks from the day of that prayer, my husband was asked by a personal friend who he respected, if he wanted to begin a bible study with him.  My husband accepted the invitation.  We went to the store and bought him a study bible and he began studying God’s word.  I kid you not, I stood in amazement.  I have to say that for a period of time, God allowed my husband to continue serving the prince of the earth while also learning about God’s truth.  There was a true battle of good vs. evil at work.  At the final turning point,  the crushing lowest point of my husbands life, he began to see that he could not be of both worlds and the Lord began to strengthen my husbands desire for truth and soften his once hardened heart.  He admittedly prayed about hypocracy and that he no longer wanted the sinful part of his life.  He asked God for help in getting rid of the sins and continued temptations that were trying to overtake him.

John 3:5-8  Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.  That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is born of the spirit.  Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’  The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.  So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

God did not turn a blind eye.  He helped my husband see the errors of his ways, and gave him the nourishment of truth that he so desired.  The ever present Holy Spirit walked with him giving him an unknown desire for learning the scriptures.  As time went forth, the fruit of God’s work in his life was being seen and his life was reflective of a life being lived out to serve our heavenly creator.

John 15:1-11  “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.  Every branch in me that  does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.  Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you.  Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you,  unless you abide in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.  If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.  If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.  As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you.  Abide in my love.  If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.  These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

All of those years since, I and others have seen a complete transformation.  Out of darkness came a blessing of light that has touched the lives of so many.   He has over that last 9 years, become the man I prayed for him to become.  He may live in this world yet he too is not of this world.  He was called, he heard, he acted.  He has not taken the gospel for granted.  He studies, he craves the word, and he longs for truth.  All in God’s timing!

John 15:16-17   You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.  These things I command you, so that you will love one another. 

Romans 12:2  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed  by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

You may ask what in the world this has to do with my joy.  Well, yesterday my beloved husband was blessed with the induction of becoming a deacon in our church.  This is not a role to be taken lightly.  For many months our family in Christ has been praying over those being called into this position, and we have been praying that “God’s Will Be Done”.

1 Timothy 3:8-13  Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain.  They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.  And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless.  Their wives must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.  Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their  own households well.  For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.  

I was asked by several people yesterday how I felt to be a deacons wife.  Honestly, I am not sure I should feel any different.  After all, my husband has been called to a role he is meant to serve in, and I am gladly sitting by supporting him, just as I have been supporting him our entire 21 years of marriage.

Romans 12:3  For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself  more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgement, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.  

If I have to admit to any feeling, it would be joy.  Joy over the transformation  that has carried my husband out of death and into Life.

John 20:30-31  Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Romans 6:23  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God, is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I am not overly joyful about titles, yet I am overjoyed at the knowledge I have of where we have been and where we are today.  I am also overjoyed at knowing that God’s timing is perfect, in every way and that my husbands serving heart embraces God’s will.

Romans 14:16-18    So do not let what you regard as good to be spoken of as evil.  For the kingdom of God  is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.  Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved  by men.

Since I know he reads my blogs, I want to add one more thing:

Honey, I love you and am pleased to be on this journey with you.  Together,  we can support one another through all that comes our way with the strength of  Jesus Christ.  I love you!

I know that I am not alone in saying congratulations.  🙂  

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Jim would be proud that you have been a willing servant for He who rescued you out of death to give you Life and that you continue to trust in His will over all that comes your way.  I knew when I saw you helping Jim with his final walk toward everlasting peace with the Lord, that your were meant to serve your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  With this last year being so tough, you never wavered taking care of me.  

Thank you My Love, and yes, I am pleased to say I am a deacons wife!   

 

 

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Fall is Here and The Soup is On

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Fall… The trees changing colors remind me of a painting in a museum.  God’s palatte of colors amuse the eyes and challenge the imagination.  A tree stands tall with it’s summer leaves expressing it’s desire to hold on to summer at the bottom of the tree, while the middle hesitantly relinquishes  it’s leaves to the cooler temperatures and the top willingly submits in excitement over the seasonal change.  From green to an orange hugh to the glaring red with a hint of purple creating a color unknown to the crayola crayon pack.

College Football games, warms coats, turtle necks and gloves.  The flip flops are put away and the shorts hit the storage bins.  As the heat turns on and the air conditioning is turned off, the blankets are pulled out of the basket as we snuggle up on the couch by the fire place.  Once again, the menu choice that takes center stage is soup.  Especially when the fall harvest is bringing in the squash and the last of the winter storage vegetables.

As we drove home last night from another weekend away, I looked forward to the yummy butternut squash soup I had made before we left.  Simple, quick, healthy and full of nutrients.  Butternut squash is a wonderful source of  vitamins A, B6, C, and Potassium.  It is also filled with anti-oxidents and is good for inflammation.

Spicy Butternut Squash Soup

Start with cutting 2 butter nut squash in half long wise.  Scoop out seeds and place the squash into baking dishes flesh side down with enough water to steam.  Cover and bake at 350 degrees for about 1 hour, or until flesh is cooked through and soft.

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1/3 stick of real Butter

1 large Onion, chopped

4 Celery sticks  with tops, chopped

3 Garlic cloves, chopped

Melt butter in pan and saute the onion, celery and garlic.  When sauteed to look translucent, add:

2 small or 1 medium Red Pepper, chopped

bunch of Parsley, chopped

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When the squash is done, scoop out the flesh from the shell and add it to the sauteed vegetables above.  Add also the water from the baking dishes.  Do not let it boil.  After cooking for about 10 minutes, add:

1 Pint of home made Chicken broth concentrate, I used my canned broth (recipe on previous post last fall)

2 cans of Organic coconut milk

dash of Red Pepper Flakes, add more if you like really spicy

1/8 tsp Chipotle Pepper

1/8 tsp Turmeric

1/2 TBS Sea Salt

Pepper to taste

Cook until all are tender.  I use an immersion blender right in the pot to blend.  If you don’t have one of those, use a strainer or a slotted spoon to pull out the chunks of vegetables and place them in a blender, blending until smooth.  Add back in to the soup pot and serve warm.  Make sure not to boil or it will burn.

A warm and tasty treat served with a nice warm piece of baked home made bread.  Or, with a grilled cheese sandwich, my kids favorite.  By also making a grilled cheese sandwich on home made gluten free bread and using raw cheddar, the kids are more inclined to enjoy any soup I make.   🙂

Hope you enjoy!

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Swedish Pancake Spin

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Breakfast is such an important meal of the day.  It provides the energy boost our body needs after a long evening of rest and repair.  It’s too bad that in our home breakfast is usually eaten between 10-12 a.m.  By the time I wake up, wait an hour after taking my thyroid medicine, then take an hour and a half to ingest all of my Lyme meds, wait another half hour before consuming anything, it ends up being at least 10.  Then if I get creative and decide to make something other than eggs, it can be at least another hour if not more.  Fortunately for us, there is enough to do in those hours we are up so that no time is wasted and everyone enjoys waiting for a little something warm and home made.

One breakfast treat that the kids really enjoy and I rarely remember to make, gives me the warm fuzzies as I am reminded of my youth.  When I was at college, one of my grandmothers came up to visit me and she saw lingonberries in my pantry.  She told me how lingonberries go well with Swedish pancakes and she would show me how to make them.  Well, it just so happened that I had the recipe for Swedish pancakes in my cookbook “Where’s Mom Now That I Need Her”.  So we both went up to the store and bought the other ingredients and made Swedish Pancakes filled with lingonberries.  A warm memory that makes me smile.  🙂

As I pulled out that book this morning, I looked at the recipe and decided to try and make them a bit healthier with the ingredients I had on hand.  I must say, it was the first time the kids said they were like a pastry, very soft, sweet and the best I’ve made yet.  So, that being said I thought I’d share what I did.

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Swedish Pancake Spin

3 eggs

3/4 C. Organic whole milk vanilla bean yogurt

1/4 C. purified water

2 TBS Raw Honey

1/2 tsp Sea Salt

2/3 C. Sorghum flour, Sifted

Start with the first 5 ingredients and whisk them together until well blended.  Then add the flour by sifting it into the bowl and mix well.

Heat a cast iron skillet with a little butter and once hot, pour very little of the batter into the pan in a circle.  If need be, lift the pan with the handle gently allowing some of the batter to spill into a larger circle.

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The batter should look like an extremely thin pancake.  Flip it when it begins to look dry on the top.

Place onto a plate and fill with lingonberries if you have them or with fresh cut up peaches, nectarines, strawberries or blueberries.  Roll them up with the seam at the bottom of the plate.  We also like to dust them with an ever so little bit organic powdered sugar just before serving.

Can you say Yum?

memories

Where Are My Ruby Slippers?

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“There’s no place like home… There’s no place like home…” A phrase I kept repeating one night on our journey as I thought of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.

We made it home safe and sound!  The journey back was long since we added in a visit to Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons.  I am finding myself exhausted and had a two day migraine I am hoping will scamper away soon enough.  Joyful however that the Lord found favor upon us and brought us home safely.

The trip home had one frightening moment in time, when we left Yellowstone only to find ourselves in the mountains once again, in the dark, on a two lane road with 20 mph speed limits and open roaming of cattle.  Yes, we saw two cattle on the side of the road at one point, and no we did not see many cars for over an hour as we climbed a mountain in the dark.  I mistakenly took the wrong exit out of Yellowstone only to find myself in near tears, feeling lost with my kiddos somewhere in and out of Montana and Wyoming.  In all honestly it was another one of those moments when all you can do is keep going even when you didn’t know where you were going nor where you would end up.  I suppose it’s much like Lyme Disease.  For over the last year it’s been a way of life, just keep going, there has to be light at the end of the tunnel.   My prayer as we climbed higher and higher and I was getting more and more tired was that God’s mercy would provide energy to my body, peace of mind, and a stopping point sooner than later.  I asked for safety as we were visibly unable to see what was ahead of us or around us.   When we finally did end up in a town, one hotel was out of rooms and we nearly spent the night in the car.  Fortunately, we checked the bed bug registry to find another hotel nearby and the two hotel stewards graciously gave us a lower cost on our room along with free breakfast the next morning.  Praise Him for giving us all that we needed to make it through that night.

My glass is half full attitude kept telling the kids that if we had not gone out that exit, we would never have seen the moose in Montana next to the road, nor would we have seen the herds of bison that continued to walk in front of our car near the exit.  It was quite exciting and made for more memories in the memory bank.

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I could not help to be struck once again by the beauty of our country.  From the rolling hills, to the plains, to the mountains that stretch high into the skies.  The beauty of the animals roaming freely from one hillside to another while we sat in our cars, driving around their homeland, captivated by the activity of their everyday lives.  Made me think of a song we all once knew:

Original poem (1893)
America. A Poem for July 4.

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the enameled plain!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee,
Till souls wax fair as earth and air
And music-hearted sea!
O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern, impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
Till paths be wrought through wilds of thought
By pilgrim foot and knee!
O beautiful for glory-tale
Of liberating strife,
When once or twice, for man’s avail,
Men lavished precious life!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
Till selfish gain no longer stain,
The banner of the free!
O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
Till nobler men keep once again
Thy whiter jubilee!

 

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Back in the Kitchen…

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This week has been spent putting up more vegetables for winter.  From green beans to tomatoes to even more fermented vegetables.  I’m so excited to be back in the kitchen, at times too excited as my legs and feet don’t hold up the way they used to before Lymes.  I do however, take breaks to rest between projects so getting it all done plus making dinner actually gets accomplished…most nights!   🙂

Tonights dinner was one of our son’s favorites.  Ahi Tuna with a wasabi sauce.  Easy to make and very tasty.  I found a great recipe out of Make It Paleo, however, didn’t have all of the ingredients as they listed, so I improvised a slight bit.

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Ahi Tuna

Mix the following ingredients together in a bowl and pour in a bag over 4 Tuna Steaks:

1/4 C. Coconut Aminos

1/8 C. Fish Sauce

1 TBS. Chopped Garlic

1 TBS. Garlic Tea Tree Oil

2 tsp. Ginger (if you have, fresh even better)

1 tsp. Sea Salt

Let marinate 2 hours prior to cooking.  Before placing on the grill, dip each side in a bowl with sesame seeds, poppy seeds, sea salt and ginger.  Lightly coating.  Cook each steak on the grill or in a grill pan for about 2-3 minutes per side depending upon how rare you can handle it.  It’s far better the rarer it is.  One of our children does not like it rare so I compromised and did the 3.  It was slightly over cooked for my taste, however, all ate dinner so that was an accomplishment.

Wasabi Dressing

Homemade mayonnaise (see previous post on recipe) with some wasabi powder.  Wasabi is strong and it’s taste gathers steam to the palate the longer it’s in the dressing so be careful when using.  Start small and gradually increase quantity to your personal taste.

Served along side the cucumber, tomato, olive and basil salad.  Yumm!

 

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Complaining, Venting or Whining…Cannot decide!

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In Psychology Today, complaining, venting and whining are described this way:  “Complaining and whining can be distinguished by the nature of the dissatisfaction and by our motivation for expressing it.  Complaining involves voicing fair and legitimate dissatisfactions with the goal of attaining a resolution or remedy.  When we voice legitimate dissatisfactions but do so without the goal of attaining a resolution we are merely venting.  And when the dissatisfactions we voice are trivial or inconsequential and not worthy of special attention, we are whining.”  I guess I am slightly complaining in this post about what took place last night.  Or, I guess you could consider it venting as it’s over and done with so there is no goal of resolution at this time and to some it could seem like whining since the first part of this post is inconsequential since it was yesterdays issues.  Either way, here we go…

It’s been a year since being diagnosed with Lymes Disease and all of the wonderful          co-infections that come along with.  I am pleased to have come so far in my healing and really have nothing to complain about.  That being said, I would very much enjoy getting through a day without a headache.  For the last few weeks I have been getting these mild headaches that hit in the afternoons.  Most of the time I get through them with a little peppermint oil on the temples and back of the neck, however, last night was very different.  I was beginning to wonder if my husband should take me in to urgent care it was so bad.  Usually laying down with my eyes closed helps, yet last nights migraine actually got worse as I lied down.  Not sure what triggered it other than I was once again on my feet getting things done in the kitchen.   It took 2 Aleve (which I hate taking unless absolutely necessary), 1/4 of a melatonin and 2 TBS of liquid Magnesium over an hours time frame before I could lay down and fall asleep without the continual throb that was keeping me wrapped up in the fetal position.  Praise God I slept all night and woke up refreshed and surprisingly not tired.

Hence the reason I was unable to share what I accomplished yesterday as far as canning and fermenting.  Well, we tried something new and I am excited to taste the end result.

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Fermented Fennel, Onion, and Carrots – Taking the fennel and trimming it up, I then placed it in the food processor using the mandoline tool to slice it thinly.  Doing the same with the onion and mixing together in a large bowl.  I then switched out the food processor tool to the shredder and shredded the carrots.  After mixing all together I added sea salt and mixed thoroughly once more.  Gathering up some clean sterilized jelly jars I began spooning in the fennel salad mixture pounding each spoonful down into the jar with a wooden mallet.  Leaving 1 inch at the top I then added 1 TBS fresh whey and filtered spring water.  I will again leave these out for 3-7 days to ferment prior to putting them in the fridge.  Burping daily of course.  🙂

The second recipe I made was supposed to be a fennel jelly.  I thought maybe I could use the trimmings of the fennel to make a pepper jelly like sauce.  Well, after boiling it down all it smelled  and tasted like was apple cider vinegar.  So, rather than throwing it all out, I went out to the freezer to find something to resurrect the ingredients.  Well, it worked.  It is really yummy too!

Cranberry, Fennel Chutney Sauce

1 – 1/2 Cups Fennel bulb and fennel trimmings

1 – 1/2 Cups Apple Cider Vinegar

5 to 6 Cups sugar (because I cannot do the sugar, I used birch tree Xylitol.  Next time I      would likely use only 4 cups as it was quite sweet.)

4 – 5 Cups cranberries, finely chopped

2 small onions, finely chopped

1 tsp. Cinnamon

I boiled down the Fennel, Apple Cider Vinegar and Sugar until it came to a rolling boil for about 5-10 minutes.  Then I strained out the liquid and placed it back on the stove adding in the cranberries, onion and cinnamon.  I again brought it back to a boil.  Turning off the burner I added natural pectin.  Unfortunately I hadn’t followed the pectin recipe and it clumped up, so for future I would have kept the fruit and onions in the final product.  This time however, because of the pectin clumping, I strained out the fruit pouring it into clean sterilized jars and put them into the hot water bath to seal.  Serving it over some cheese with some crushed walnuts will be a yummy winters treat for the family.

Still have to do something with the beets and the cabbage.  Maybe today!

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!  1Chronicles 16:11

 

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Why bother…?

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(This painting hangs in my kitchen… It’s so me!)

Why fermentation?  Why canning?  Why grow your own food when you have grocery stores on every corner?  Why go through the work?

Oh my, so many questions.  I’ve heard it all.  I’ve even heard, “Sherry you are too sick to be doing all of that”, or “I did all that when I was younger and see no need to keep doing it.  I hated doing it then with my mother why would I do it now.”  Well, the primary answer to everyones “why” about this topic is this:

Neighbor, “Yeah we have so many tomatoes this year that Sally (name changed) is thinking we should make some pasta sauce.  We just aren’t sure what to do with so many.”

MY husband, “Oh yeah.  Can the sauces so you have them this winter.  It was great this last winter when Sherry was so sick and I prepared the meals, those canned sauces really helped out when I needed them.”

Neighbor, “Maybe they can help one another and do the canning together.”

Said and done!   Two verses come to mind when I consider this conversation exchange.  The first is from Proverbs 31:10- 18  “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.  The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.  She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.  She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.  Her lamp does not go out at night.”  Keep in mind that as I type this I am aware that it sounds boldly prideful on my part to consider this verse and my husbands conversation.  However, when you realize that the title of this portion of Proverbs is titled “A Woman Who Fears The Lord” you understand that all that I do is pleasing to the Lord.   I understand who the Lord is and why I am here.

Now, I also must admit that the human side of my being, living in a self indulgent world also realizes that homemaking has become a taboo word for women.  The thought amongst our peers is that we were either too stupid to make it doing anything else (and yes I’ve even heard of one persons interpretation of my being a stay at home mom described as “not being highly educated”) or we have an overbearing husband who chains us to the house without allowing us to have a mind of our own.  That being said, I have to also admit that worldly thinking can and does creep in sometimes.  My worldly thought on the conversation was this, “Thank you Lord that my husband appreciates the sacrifices I have made.  I was not at the pool, tennis courts, golfing at the club, sitting down watching soap operas (are those still running?) or going out spending money with friends buying designer clothes and enjoying lavish expensive lunches (as many of my friends did at our last place of residence).   I will consider this my paycheck… A wonderful compliment from my husband.”  Now, being that I started it out as a sort of thanksgiving prayer, one would assume this was not worldly, however, I would argue with you that it was very selfish on my part to look to myself with pride expecting praise from someone for something I’ve done and sacrifices I made.  Really?  I’ve made no sacrifices, this is my JOB as a wife and mother.  Going to the Word of God you see that Proverbs 31 has much more to say past verse 18.  And, it’s all to please the Lord.    Does that mean there is no laughter and fun?  Of course not.  There is great joy when you all sit down together for a meal, or when the aroma of dinner tantalizes your husbands nose when he walks in the door, and the pleasing look in his eyes when he knows that he doesn’t have to worry about one more thing after a full day of work away from those he loves.

Gardening, canning, fermenting, and housework is done to please the Lord.  Not to please anyone else.  Now, in pleasing the Lord, I am also pleasing the family.  It’s a win win.

The second verse was from Titus 2:3, “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.  They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”  Again, God honoring to teach the younger women (Sally) how to please the Lord by also pleasing, preparing, saving money and working for the good of the family.

Now, that I’ve shared what’s been on my mind the last two days, I need to share why it’s been on my mind.  Yesterday began canning day.  With the harvest coming in from our own garden and the local CSA it’s time to begin preparing for winter.  Oh we enjoy enough of our harvest now, however, we also enjoy it all winter long.  The first comment of my being too sick actually came to reality when I was on my feet all afternoon without sitting down for a break and by dinner time my right leg was numb and I felt like I was again dragging my right foot.  Oh swizzle sticks!  (as the little girl next door says)  Today is a new day and we will try again.  Taking breaks this time so as not to overdo.

Yesterday I canned the two day project I was working on.  Chicken Stock.  Yes, I canned it.  I did some reading and educated myself so as not to ruin anyones day with illness. I made my chicken stock the day before, cooking it in the Nesco all day.  Then I poured it into jars, refrigerated it and skimmed off the fat the next morning.  I then put it back into a stock pot (2 – 3/4 gallons of it) just to the boiling point, poured it into clean hot pint jars, added a tsp. of salt and placed on the lids and began the canning process.  Because water baths are not sufficient enough for chicken stock, I used two of my pressure canners at 10 lbs. of pressure for 20 minutes.  I made 23 pints of stock.  (See previous post last fall on making the chicken stock.)  Disclaimer:  I would NOT can any chicken that comes from the traditional conventional marketplace.  I would only can organic, non-GMO fed chicken stock that was homemade with all organic ingredients using pure unadulterated water sources.  

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After the chicken stock I moved on to making fermented salsa.  I took the beautiful ripe organic tomatoes from the CSA (mine are not done yet), one very large onion, a large bunch of cilantro and about 10-15 garlic.  I put them all in the food processor and gently processed them down to a mildly chunky state and poured it all into a bowl.  I took clean jelly jars and a few pints placing 1 tsp. salt and 1 TBS fresh whey in each.  Then I scooped the salsa into each jar leaving 1 inch space at the top.  Wiped each clean and put on the lids.  I then shook the jars to mix in the whey and the salt.  Placing them on the counter on top of a towel I then unscrewed the lid of the jar so the air would be able to flow.  I will leave them on the counter from 3-7 days, burping the jars each day to release the fermented gases before putting them into the refrigerator.

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Fermented foods have been a long tradition in many cultures and is wonderful to help aid in digestion.  We see the importance of eating yogurt, this is the same only using fresh organic vegetables.   Each month my doctor wants to know if I am continuing to eat my fermented veggies, juicing, kefir and kombuccha of which the answer is always yes.  We both agree it helps tremendously.

Today, I will be creating and making fermented beats, fennel, cabbage recipes which I will share at the end of the week.

 

P.S.  I am college educated with a 4 year degree. 🙂

 

Thank you Lord for the blessing of a family to care for.  Thank you for the knowledge you have provided regarding health, nutrition, foods, and the human bodies response to unnatural man made resources.  Thank you Lord for the daily strength that can only come from you as I open my eyes each day feeling weary.  It is only through your almighty grace that I continue on.  Lord I pray that I can honor you through all that I do, say and think.  Help me to keep my focus on you and you alone so that all I do on this earth will be glorifying to you.  Amen…