Tag Archives: God

Lymes, Why?

Why was I a guest?

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So many days sitting, waiting, healing and praying.  Praying for the return of the healthy, strong, fearless body that did not often sit idle.  I have not asked God “why pain? or why illness? or why me?” in this journey.  I guess I look at the adversity of life and know that it’s not about climbing the mountain to be close to Him, it’s about the nourishment in the valley.  After all, the top of the mountain is usually quite cold, brown and lonely.  The valley is warm, and green with lush grass and flowing streams.  It’s a place where the Lord can meet you where you are at, providing comfort, company and substance for healing not just for the body yet also the soul.  If I question Him and ask “why me” then I am not trusting His will for me.  What I have asked is “why has he chosen me out of so many”.  Chosen me to be a part of His kingdom.  I am a sinner whose sins are no less than anyone else, yet He has chosen me to be a part of an eternal plan.

As we sang in service yesterday, I considered the words in one of the hymns.  It’s a beautiful hymn whose words and musical components made my inner being stir. To not embarrass myself nor my family by falling down on my knees, I sat quietly praising Him in my thoughts as the words streamed out of my mouth.  How can I ask for any more than that which I am already blessed with.  After all, this life is only a warm up to an eternity!

Isaac Watts, 1707                                                                                                                        “How sweet and awful is the place, With Christ within the doors, While ever lasting love displays The choicest of her stores.                                          
While all our hearts and all our songs Join to admire the feast, Each of us cry, with thankful tongues, “Lord, why was I a guest?”                                    
“Why was I made to hear thy voice And enter while there’s room, When thousands make a wretched choice, And rather starve than come?”                                  
‘Twas the same love that spread the feast that sweetly drew us in; Else we had still refused to taste, and perished in our sin.                                        
Pity the nations, O our God Constrain the earth to come; Send they victorious Word abroad, And bring the strangers home.                                              
We long to see thy churches full, That all the chosen race May, with one voice and heart and soul, Sing thy redeeming grace.  Amen”

Matthew 7:13  “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.

Lymes

I will be in the 8% !

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I do not usually make New Years Resolutions, as I cannot understand the purpose.  Usually I see people making them while they are intoxicated and they think that the next morning they will remember.  I read yesterday that of the 45% of Americans making resolutions, only 8%  are successful in follow through and achievement.  (I wonder if the  55% not making resolutions are like me and see no purpose, or are they the ones that were so completely inebriated that they forgot!)

As we rang in 2014, I admit that I decided to go ahead and make a resolution for the first time since I can remember.   Not just for myself, yet also for my family.  (And this thought was with a very clear coherent mind.)

What did I resolute to do?   I would continue to fight the battle against the spirochete. That I will win the battle against the co-inhabitants of my body.  I will not give up when there is pain, and I will not give up when there is loneliness or when the flesh is weak.  I will focus on the only One who can give me hope and encouragement.   The only One who can strengthen me in my distress.   I will not be defeated.  Neither the body, the soul, nor the spirit!  By the Grace and Mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, 2014 will be a year of perseverance.  I will be included in the successful 8%!

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How am I going to accomplish this?

Eph. 6:11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.  (spirochete)

Eph. 6:14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayers and supplication.

Psalm 18:1-3  I love you, O Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.  (the spirochetes)

Happy New Years Everyone!  And for all the Lymies, I pray that you too will persevere during 2014, that your battle against the spirochete will be won and that 2014 will be a year of successful healing.

memories

Christmas Memories

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As the years slip by and the children grow older, Gary and I laugh at how we have changed our views of the holidays.  We’ve stumbled from our first Griswold Christmas,  of family, obscene decorating and parties, to where we are today.  Quiet Christmases spent with just the four of us.  Every other year we have the pleasure of celebrating with an additional one or two family members, with a tree that has minimal decoration’s and dinners that amount to appetizers.  Though we enjoy the celebration of family and friends, it has become apparent that change is in the air.

Last night we turned on the Christmas Vacation  movie with Chevy Chase and laughed over Clarks decorating of the house.  When Gary and I were first married Gary took it upon himself to see if he could top Clarks display by putting enough lights on the house we could see it lit up from the top of the street.  At our second house, we witnessed him dangling from the ladder over the front door as he tried to hang a huge wreath over the window.  Our third house had the welcome addition of lighted reindeer in the yard and blow up snow globes with the inside of the house looking like a Christmas Museum.  Our current home struggles to keep up with the Christmas fanfare.  Simple professional lights lining the house and one tree outside, and inside has been degraded to just a simple tree with enough decorations to hide the areas where the lights are out.  The snowmen that once adorned the window boxes are still stashed in the basement, the decorative green corner swags sit in their storage bins and the stockings…. we aren’t quite sure where those have ended up.  The soldiers lie still,  sleeping away another year of not being placed on the banister steps and only one Madame Alexander doll makes it on the tree.   As for the parties, those have long since become a thing of the past and our extended family celebrating Christmas together has ended due to distance, death and divorce.   In fact, the last time our entire extended family celebrated Christmas was in 2004 and the last time we celebrated with our parents all together was in 2007.

As we opened up the branches of the artificial tree on Saturday, we shared fun memories of Christmases past and real trees that were freshly cut hanging over cars,  those too big to stand alone and tied to walls, and those that fell during parties.   We talked about movies that make you laugh and cry and got excited looking for them so that we could enjoy watching them in the next few weeks.   After hanging half of the decorations, we started watching the movie Elf.  Laughing at the memory of our son dressing up as Elf and surprising his dad at his office.  Yes, he even had people on the streets laughing as he pretended to pull gum off of the railing of the bridge and considered jumping into the large tree in the lobby.   The memories and laughter had me thinking of A Christmas Carol, considering the past, present and wonderment of the future.

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It may sound sad to others, yet to us it has brought new opportunity for the four of us.  We have started out our holiday season the last two years enjoying Disney and the beautiful displays that go up the day after Thanksgiving.  Spending that first week of December driving around the campsites to see all the work put into decorations really is something all four of us enjoy, and hopefully something we can continue.

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It makes me wonder how many more Christmases will we have with our children before they move out and marry, having children of their own?  How much longer will we be able to celebrate in our own home before we have to start traveling to theirs? (After all, 17 years ago we started the tradition of not leaving our home on Christmas day, so I hope our children will continue that when they start their families.)   Our senior is taking college classes and is confident he will be leaving as soon as he finishes his degree.  Moving to Scotland is in both kids future plans.  The question of the future remains, will they stay there or will they return to raise their families here?  Will they end up somewhere else?

Do I long for Christmases of the past, with family, parties, decorations and fanfare?  Of course!  However, I embrace what God has done with our family unit and the memories that we are making.  It is with great Joy that He has shown us what is truly important at this time of year.  It’s the reminder that Christmas is not about us at all, it’s about celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior.  It’s not about shopping, stress, speeding tickets, selfish desires and parties.  Nor is it about the mythical figure of Santa.   It’s about worshipping  the creator of all things and enjoying the simple pleasures of just being together, with smiles and laughter that will be heard in stories for future generations.

memories

20 Years Of Bliss…

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Bliss? Well, let’s just say it’s been a journey and no it has not always been bliss. Why do I say that? Because I looked up the word bliss in the dictionary and it says “extreme happiness”. Marriage is not always “extremely happy” and I do not know one person that can say that theirs is. In fact, it’s a lot of work, it’s painful at times and the reality of marriage is not as romantic as the movies would like to portray.

Have you seen the statistics? It’s shocking and honestly a bit sad. There are several things lacking in our society today that contribute to the declining of marriage. One being that society thrives on ease. “Bliss” is expected in everything that is done and if it’s not experienced then one walks away and looks for it elsewhere. You know the saying, “The grass is greener on the other side”. Children are growing up in today’s world without having to work for anything. There are trophies for each player even if they are bench warmers, there are gimmicks and commercials glamorizing immoral behavior and acceptance for mediocracy is tolerated. If something is too hard, then rules are changed to make it easier. There is no longer parental respect and the word “no” to a child is nearing child abuse status.

The second issue is that God is no longer a daily figure in the lives of most families or households. Divorce no longer follows biblical application and adultery is as common and accepted as feeding the pet. Getting married is no longer a bond between a man a woman based on God’s design, it’s a romantic idea of a future that just doesn’t exist. Seriously, does anyone stand at the alter and realize that in a few years they will have screaming kids, burning pots on the stove and a stressed out husband that walks in the door to find his once beautiful wife standing at the door with a desperate look on her face that just screams “Help me now, I’m drowning”? The Proverbs 31:10-31 wife is looked at today as a pitiful figure who has no ambition beyond the front door, therefore she must be uneducated or have a controlling husband.

Why do I feel I have the ability to say anything? I feel that 20 years of watching friends and family go through divorces, raising children, and working hard for our marriage warrants at least an opinion. The last 20 years has not been bliss, yet it’s been a wonderful example of what can be accomplished when two people who love one another unconditionally put in the effort and work hard for a common goal. The power of prayer and having God in our marriage has also been an example to our children that will prayerfully carry through many generations yet to come.

As we celebrate 20 years today, it’s been fun to glance through the wedding album and see loved ones who have come and gone in our lives. Looking at how young we once were and how gray we are today. Seeing old friends who age just as well as you… ha ha ha

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Gary asked me last weekend if I wanted to plan the next 20 and I told him no. I think we are doing just fine swinging by the seat of our pants. Besides, it’s more fun allowing God to plan out our future. How can we be disappointed when He’s done such a great job thus far.

A few notes and memories to share:

To the husband of my youth, the love of my life, and my forever best friend… I love you and I thank you for all the twists and turns that have made us what we are today. Thank you for the fun dinner… who else could try rattlesnake rabbit sausage on their 20th anniversary. (it really wasn’t very good honey, sorry!)

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I thank God also for the strength, wisdom and mercy that has allowed us to come together, stay together and be an example to those who who need encouragement in their marriage. I also thank Him for wonderful God loving God fearing children who have blessed our marriage.

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I thank my parents and in law’s for teaching Gary and I to work hard at all we do, never giving up on the hard things of life, and keeping their arms open when we’ve gone astray. Thank you for your support in our marriage the last 20 years.

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I thank my and Gary’s grandparents for the wonderful examples of the marital promise, “till death do us part”.

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I thank also the friends that stick with us through thick and thin, through moves, illnesses, and loss of family. (what is that on your head?) ha

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20 years of bliss? I would rather say:
20 years of educating ourselves on agape love through the eyes of the Lord
20 years of ups and downs twists and turns
20 years of growing gray in wisdom with someone else whose faults are equal to yours
20 years of watching time tick by knowing that you are more fortunate than someone else who doesn’t have what you have
20 years of living with someone that can bring out the best and worst of you, yet who can also love you like no other
20 years of looking forward